All is lost, or is it?
by Mad Steph
Summary: Post the season 5 finale, The Incident. What will happen after the flash? R&R always appreciated.
1. Surroundings

**Title:** All is lost, or is it? (Part 1)  
**Pairing:** Sawyer/Juliet  
**Rating:** K/K+ (PG/PG 13)  
**Warning:** spoilers for _The Incident _  
**Summary:** Sequel to the season finale, not AU until January 2010 (lol)  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Lost … sadly  
**A/N:** Because I could absolutely not study anymore without getting this out of my head.

This is supposed to be the first part of a chaptered fic (unless everyone chases me away with pitchforks), I just don't know when I'll be able to write the next chapter, it's in the back of my head though.

_***_

She desperately hit the device over and over again with all the strength she could muster in her body that was riddled with pain.

Hot tears were now streaming down her face, slowing washing the blood off her cheeks, the damn nuke had not detonated and she had survived a lethal fall.

The irony of the situation tasted bitter in her mouth. For 6 years she had been trying to get off the island, and each time an opportunity had presented itself, something had gone haywire or she had turned her back to it. First it had been Locke, destroying the submarine, then the freighter, blowing up just before her very eyes, then he had asked her to stay, and she had, and finally, she had decided that she couldn't leave everyone else here to die. She had to stop Jack.

This island had robbed her of everything.

It had taken her away from her home and everyone she had ever loved and cared for. It had given her a mission, save the pregnant women on the island -an impossible task to accomplish.

It had given her Goodwin, only to break her heart with his death.

It had given her James. And with him she had experienced a degree of happiness she had not felt since her parents had divorced all those years ago. Yet, she had been torn apart from him as well.

The island had given her hope, a new beginning, a fresh start, after dangling it in the air in front of her for a while, like a carrot for a donkey, it had pulled it far from her reach.

She could have been halfway to Ann Abor right now, making plans with James about how they were going to grow old together and how they were going to spend the millions they would collect after they invested in Microsoft.

Instead she was lying here in a ditch, so far away but at the same time so very close to him. At least she was sure now, he loved her. He loved her so much that he would have went down with her, had she not let him go.

She should have been honest with him and told him the truth. It would have made things easier, or maybe it wouldn't have, but, deep down, she knew he had deserved to know, and she was heartbroken that she would never be able to tell him.

As soon as she had noticed her period was late, she immediately knew it was because she was pregnant. The minute she was sure, she wanted to run to James and tell him, that was the moment Jack chose to turn up and tell her Kate done something to compromise their cover, after that everything went haywire -Phil, packing to find refuge at the beach, getting caught by Radinsky, being put on the sub.

In the sub, she had decided she would tell him once they surfaced in the 'real world', and then Kate had came climbing down that ladder … bringing with her the knowledge that that perfect moment she was waiting for would never come.

Rose and Bernard, as odd as it had seemed, appeared to know. Why had she not taken him up on his offer of a cup of tea? It would have saved her from all this misfortune.

Now, she was here, alone, and he was up there. She had heard him desperately cry her name out as her hand had slipped from his. Her screaming had not been loud enough to cover the sound of his sobs. How could she have ever doubted his love for her?

"Come on … You, son of a bitch! Come on!" she cried, as she relentlessly hit the bomb once more.

And there it was, that flash of blinding white light, the excruciating pain searing through her skull -a pain so foreign and so familiar at the same time. It suddenly seemed like it was only yesterday they had been flashing back and forth in time.

And as quickly as it had started, it was over.

Everything around her, was pitch black. She couldn't even see the light from the opening where she had fallen. Where the hell was she?

Then it hit her. She wasn't underground anymore, she was outside, lying on the hard ground at the bottom of the pitch that had, once upon a time, been the Swan Station. When was she? And where was everyone else?

Questions blurred her mind as she drifted out of consciousness.

* * *

Sawyer's distress was temporarily tamed by the white flash which took over their surroundings. As it had many times before, the blinding light disappeared as quick as it had appeared, leaving him, Kate and Jack alone in the dark night.

"What the hell?" Miles voice echoed throughout the jungle as he came running towards them. "Did we just time travel again?"

"Still not Los Angeles," Sawyer said bitterly, before leaping towards the place where the hatch had once been, the place where Jack had just dropped a hydrogen bomb, or had dropped ages ago, or had yet to drop, he wasn't exactly sure when he was, and called out "Juliet."

But she was nowhere to be seen.

"Where is Juliet?" Miles asked out of Sawyer's earshot.

"She fell down the ..." Jack trailed off nodding towards the location where the hole had been. Miles' face dropped.

Sawyer came storming back, "She's not there. Where the hell is she? We time travelled, she must have time travelled with us too."

"Char-" began Miles, his voice was a little shacky.

"Don't you even dare," Sawyer warned before turning towards Jack angrily, "The only reason she agreed to do this was because you said it would change the past, undo the plane crash. Take away all the misery everyone went through. Well I have news for you, Doc, it didn't work. Once again your genius plan failed, and screwed peoples' lives up, got people killed."

"I had to. We didn't belong in 1977," Jack said simply.

"Didn't belong? Didn't belong?" Sawyer repeated incredulously. "Life is not an episode of Quantum Leap, and you're no Sam Beckett. Who are you to say we didn't belong in Dharmaville?" He violently grabbed Jack by the collar of his jumpsuit and shoved him against the nearest tree.

"James," Kate said firmly. "She wouldn't want you to do that."

Sawyer let go of Jack, "Don't you call me James. There ain't no more James. And how would you know what she would've wanted? You and her you weren't even friends." He took a deep breath before continuing, "You should never have came back, we were all happy in Dharmaville, living our lives, living good lives, and you lot had to go and show up and ruin everything."

His voice was starting to crack a little and Kate reached forward to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, he shrugged her off instantly, "You just don't get it do you? You took the best damn thing that ever happened to me away from me. If you hadn't turned up in the sub, we would have been halfway to the real world by now."

He turned on his heels and wandered away.

Kate was about to follow him when someone held him back, "No," Jin said shaking his head. Jin knew what it was like to lose someone you loved, even though Sun was still alive to his knowledge, he had not seen her or held her in over three years, and every single time he thought about her, and the baby who must be a child by now, his heart broke a little more.

He also knew how much Sawyer had loved Juliet. He had witnessed it all happening, the pair getting closer as each day went by, had he been more fluent in English at the time, he would have certainly teased Sawyer over it. His friend's transformation over the course of their stay in the seventies had been remarkable. He went from being a rogue to a decent fellow with a good heart, and all that thanks to Juliet.

Kate merely gave him a puzzled look.

"You guys have no idea how happy they were together," Miles stated.

TBC?


	2. Regret

**A/N:** If you knew me, you'd know I fail at life at updating quickly.  
To be honest though, I've still got two exams left, and studying is time consumming, hopefully when I'm done on the 15th, I'll be able to get this fic updated sooner ;)

A huge thank you to everyone who took the time to review, I was quite taken aback by the amount I got between here and the other place I posted it at, so really thank you so much, I think I replied to all of them, if I didn't, I'm sorry, I meant to.

_***_

Sawyer had wandered away from the rest of the group into the deep jungle. He had heard Kate trying to follow him and Jin telling her to stay back. He was relieved, he'd rather be alone, he needed to be alone.

He looked around and saw that he was in the exact same spot where he had shared his last alone moment with Juliet, the place where she had told him she would rather never have known him, than to ever have to lose him.

"Juliet," he sighed, the pain in his chest was so intense, it felt like his heart was being split in two.

He kept replaying what had happened before the flash over and over in his mind. If only he had gotten to her faster, if only Kate had gotten the chains off of her in time, if only...

He could not believe she was gone, that she had left him all by himself.

He slouched down against a tree trunk.

What was he going to do without her? Who was going to have his back?

Why had she let go? She should have known that he would have rather gone down with her than stay up there without her, he loved her so much, and he hadn't even told her, he just wanted her back, he wanted her back now.

His thoughts drifted off to how it had all began between them.

***

_It had been three months since they had last seen John Locke, three months they had been stuck in Dharmaville with the Dharma folk._

_He had been walking home from work when he spotted her doing the exact same thing, "Hey there, Barbie doll?"_

_She stopped, turned around and waited for him to catch up with her._

"_Long time no see, Blondie. What'cha been up to?"he said with all the charm his Southern drawl could muster._

"_It's only been a couple of days, James," she smile before continuing. "Same old jumpsuit, same old hippie vans, nothing much really. What about you?"_

_He sighed as they started walking again, "Today was my sixty eighth shift at the security station, that's the longest I've ever held down a real and decent job."_

_She touched his forearm with the tip of her fingers and said, "That's really great, James."_

_They walked the rest of the way to Juliet's home in a comfortable silence, he was just about to turn away and go back to his own place when she called his name, "James, where do you think you're going?"_

_He looked at her puzzled._

"_Do you not want to celebrate your sixty eight days as a Dharma security man?" She paused before adding, "I have wine."_

_He smiled and followed her into the house._

_---_

_Three hours and three bottles of Dharma Merlot later, Juliet and Sawyer were both feeling a little merry._

"_... and then there was the time when I worked at a fast food joint ..."_

"_You worked at a fast food restaurant?" she asked incredulous._

"_I was sixteen, I wanted a car, but anyway, I lasted three hours, before they kicked me out."_

"_Why? What did you do?"_

"_I don't even remember, probably something I said."_

_She giggled, "how surprising."_

"_Hey," he elbowed her playfully causing her to spill the content of her glass down her top. "Oh, I'm sorry," he stammered as he grabbed a napkin from the coffee table and attempted to wipe the stain dry. It took him a couple of instants to realise fully what he was doing and where his hands were, he suddenly stopped._

_They looked each other in the eyes for what felt like an eternity, he had never experienced something that intense before, He had never been this close to her._

"_Juliet," he said softly._

_He didn't give even give her any time to say anything, he just kissed her. It was rough and greedy. _

_Before he knew it clothes were being torn off and discarded somewhere between the living room and her bed._

_When he had opened his eyes the following morning, it took a minute for him to gather his bearings, and eventually saw that the sleeping form next to him belonged to Juliet._

"_Hi," Juliet said shyly._

"_Hey there, didn't know you were awake." _

"_About last night," she began._

_He could see the apprehension in her eyes, he scooted closer to her in the bed and put his arm around her, and simply said, "last night was amazing. From the first time I saw you and you tasered me, I knew that behind that cool exterior their was a fire of burning passion."_

_She quickly slapped him lightly across the chest, "So you don't think it was a mistake?"_

"_If that was a mistake, Blondie, I want to make mistakes like that more often," he said as he leaned towards her and kissed her gently. "Juliet, I care for you, I trust you, I enjoy spending time with you, maybe this thing between you and me … it feels right to me."_

***

He still was not entirely sure why she had suddenly freaked out. One minute, she was all for stopping Jack and his madness, and then, all of a sudden, she had switched over to team 'Let's blow the island up'.

She had always been the reasonable one in their couple. She was the calm one, the one who knew when it was time to stop, she was his voice of reason. He had been so used to this that he had not even question the one

"If I never have to meet you, then I never have to lose you," the words haunted him now. Why would she even think she would ever lose him. Had he even really looked at Kate?

He hadn't meant to, he didn't have romantic feelings for Kate anymore, why he had even told Jack to stop his whining and try to win her over again, if only Juliet had heard that bit too, if only …

Why hadn't he tried harder to convince her that Jack's plan was insane?

Jack didn't know anything about nothing, he had paraded into Dharmaville, ready to take charge of things, to return to his position as their leader, what he seemed to have forgotten was that three years had past since he had last been the leader. And during those three years, he had built a life, the kind of home he had secretly always longed for, where you went to work in the morning, came home at night and curled up in bed with the woman you loved.

Juliet was the first woman he had wanted to see in a white dress, marching down the aisle towards him. The first woman he had thought about buying a house with picket fences with. The first woman he had thought about growing old with. The first woman he had thought about having kids with -a little girl with the same deep blue eyes as she did, he remembered the one time they had discussed children, she had laughed at him and said that knowing her luck she'd have twin boys, and they'd be twice as mischievous each as he was.

His anguish turned into anger and rage at what would never be, he was furious that all that had been taken away from him.

All of a sudden he heard rustling in the trees, and spotted the flames from torches in the distance. It was then he realised that he was not exactly sure of when the flash had sent them to, all he knew was that he was no longer in the seventies. Knowing his luck he was about to come face to face with a bunch of cannibal cavemen dressed in animal skin and looking for their next feast, he thought.

He quickly took cover in a nearby bush and hid. It briefly reminded him of the last time he had tried to hid in a bush, he had been with Juliet, and when they were discovered the others had nearly chopped her hand off.

The group of people were only a couple of feet away from his safe spot now, he tried to stay as still as possible, he was not keen on them being aware of his presence, at least not until he had had time to size them up.

He noticed one of them was wearing ranger boots, and he sighed internally, at least he was not about to meet the great Freddy Flintstone.

He heard the sound of their footsteps slowly die down in the distance as they got further and further away from him, just as he thought it was safe to come out of hiding, he felt the cool metal of a gun barrel rest against the back of his neck.

"Get up now," a female voice ordered.

He quickly got to his feet, pulled out his own gun and turned around to face his opponent.

"Who are you?" the curvy brunette asked him, he recognised her accent as eastern European.

"Hold on a second, Xenia Onatopp, I could I ask you the same damn question," Sawyer shot back, when he realised he was surrounded by a large group of people, he almost regretted having opened his mouth.

"Sawyer?" a confused voice pipped from amongst the crowd.

He looked up to see where the voice had came from, it was Sun.

---

The Kwon reunion was bitter-sweet for Sawyer.

On one hand, he was absolutely thrilled for the man who had been his friend for the past four years, he had been through so much himself and he had been looking and longing for his wife for years. The man definitely deserved a little bit of happiness.

Nevertheless, he could not get rid of the ball of jealousy forming in the pit of his stomach. He wanted his girl back too. He didn't want to ruin the moment, so he distanced himself from the rest of the group.

"Dude," Hurley said calmly as he put his hand on Sawyer's shoulder and sat down next to him.

And they sat there in total undisturbed silence for a while, it was the most comforting thing anyone had done for him all day.

TBC

* * *

I forgot to mention that I wasn't going to deal with Juliet, her wellbeing and her whereabouts in this chapter, you'll find out soon enough, I don't really leave massive cliffhangers (like some people in this fandom, I'm not pointing at anyone specifically *cough*teh-sara*cough* (who's writing an awesome fic, if you're not reading it, you definitely should, it's great).


	3. An odd awakening

**A/N:** I only have one exam left, so hopefully the updates to this story will be less far apart :)

Thanks so much to everyone who takes the time to review, I love feedback, and I think I reply to all of them, and I have been known to let spoilers (or rather allusions) slip concerning which direction the story is likely to take in my review replies.

Anyway, here is chapter 3, it's Juliet centric (yay!, I think I'll stick to this format of alternating Sawyer and Juliet chapters, and I also tweaked my original storyline a teensy little bit to incorporate a request made by someone on LJ.

* * *

She moaned slightly as she stirred from the deep slumber she had been in. Her mouth was dry and her limbs were aching, almost as if she had been sleeping for thirty years. The dampness of the bed of leaves she was lying in sent a shiver racing down her spine causing her to shudder. She was cold, freezing actually.

It took her a couple of minutes to gather her bearings and remember the events that had lead her to this place, she remembered the submarine, the bomb, the shaft. But how on earth did she end up somewhere in the middle of the jungle? Had Jack's plan worked? Had she been able to change the future?

She looked over her body and noticed that her injuries had disappeared, but even more surprisingly so had her clothes. Where was she? When was she? And how the hell did she end up naked in the middle of nowhere?

She slowly got up, every joint cracking as she got on her feet. She needed to find clothes. She figured her best bet was to make her way back to Barracks -or Dharmaville, as James liked to call it, and see if there was anything there. Of course there was always the possibility that she had been transported to a time before the Dharma initiative had implanted itself on the island, and going there meant a long walk through the jungle, alone, in the middle of the night, in her birthday suit.

If James could see her now, she chuckled, she would never live it down.

***

"_You're telling me you were a dork in high school?" he laughed as he pulled her closer into his chest during one of their lazy Sunday mornings in bed._

"_More of a nerd, to be honest. Why is that so surprising?" she asked, raising her eyebrows._

"_It's just that, I guess, I sort'a had you pegged as the prom Queen, or something, one of the cool kids," he sighed._

"_Never in a million years, I didn't even go to prom," she confessed._

"_What kind of girl doesn't go to her own prom?" he wondered out loud._

"_The kind that doesn't get invited, James," she said simply._

"_Nobody asked you to prom, that I don't believe, you're hot stuff," he said, running a finger down her thigh._

_She giggled, "Not back then, I was a science geek, a mathlete, I was the kid the other kids made fun of."_

"_And you let them get away with picking on you? This story is getting even less believable as it goes along, Superwoman."_

"_Back then I was a pushover."_

"_No way," he said his voice full of disbelief._

_She propped herself up and looked at him in the eyes and said in the most serious tone she could muster, "Way."_

"_So what made you change from the shrinking violet into the bad ass blonde, the quickest shooter on craphole island?"_

"_Oddly enough, it was this island," she replied. "When I got here, I was still recovering from my failed marriage-"_

"_Wait a sec," he interrupted her. "We've been together for a year now, how come you never told me you were once married?"_

"_Because, it's not a story worth telling," she said._

"_That bad, huh?"_

"_In the end, yeah," she said._

"_Don't you worry, Blondie," he said as he pulled her underneath him, and kissed her in the crook of her neck. He then whispered into her ear, "You got me now."_

***

She had been walking through the jungle for a good half hour, her progression was slow, she was barefoot, and she didn't want to risk getting herself injured, defenceless and immobilised, when she heard someone or something marching through the jungle. For a minute, she debated with herself on whether she should hide or not, she ended up deciding not to, if what was coming happened to be another human being, maybe she could actually get some help off of them, and some clothes.

To her greatest astonishment, the person she came face to face with moment later was none other than John Locke.

"John?" she said unable to conceal the surprise in her voice.

"Juliet?" he replied equally unsettled, and then nodding down to her clothing state, or lack thereof, "Juliet?!"

"It's a long story," she sighed. "You wouldn't happen to have a spare T-shirt or something in that backpack of yours, would you, John?"

He quickly pulled out a white shirt from his bag and handed it over to Juliet, she quickly slipped it on and buttoned it up, it wasn't the most practical outfit she had ever worn, and she still felt a tad exposed, but it would have to do for now. It suddenly occurred to her, that if John was here, then he had not died, and that maybe, they had changed the future after all. Maybe 815 had still crashed, but something could have changed, that meant that James was alive.

"What happened, Juliet?" John interrupted her thought.

"What happened when?" she asked.

"You know, after I went down the well, did you come back to our own time?"

Her heart sunk in her chest, they, she, hadn't changed a damn thing, for all she knew, her detonating the bomb had always happened, "Jack told us you were dead, John."

John cocked his head to the side in an odd fashion, Juliet sensed there was something 'off' about him.

"Jack?" Locke asked. "He's here too? I haven't seen him since-"

His question was cut short by an all too familiar voice which pipped out from somewhere in the jungle, "What are we going to do, John, now that we have kill- Juliet?"

She wasn't sure what shocked Ben the most, the fact that she was standing in front of him, or the fact that she was standing in front of him wearing nothing but a shirt.

"Ben," she said calmly.

"What are you doing here? Where were you?" her old boss asked.

"She was just about to tell me, weren't you, Juliet" Locke said. "What happened exactly after I left?"

"There was another flash, but this time it was different, we knew it would be the last, there was something final about it," she began. "The only problem was that we were stuck in 1974."

"1974?" Locke asked.

"Who is 'we'" Ben demanded.

"Yes, James Ford, Miles Chang, Jin Kwon, Daniel Faraday and myself ended up in 1974, in the Dharma Initiative, and we stayed there for three years."

Ben looked at her in shock, his eyes were twice the size they normally were, "You were in the Dharma Initiative between 1974 and 1977?"

She nodded, fully aware of what he was alluding to, he finally remembered who she reminded him of, and that person was herself.

"So if you were stuck in the 1970s, how did you get back, and where does Jack fit in this story?" Locke questioned.

"They just showed up one day. One morning they were just appeared out of nowhere -Kate, Jack, Hurley and Sayid, they said Sun was with them, but we couldn't find her."

"She's here, with us," Ben stated flatly.

"Well, we managed to get them into the Dharma Initiative, but something went wrong and then downhill from there. People got suspicious, we had to run. Daniel came up with this plan, that if we blew up what was going to become the Swan Station with the hydrogen bomb we encountered in 1954, then we could change the past, and put an end to a lot of misery and suffering. So that's what we did, turns out he was wrong, because we're right back where we started."

Both men looked at her, totally mesmerised by her story. She had decided it was best to leave some details out of her narration, mainly James and the baby she was carrying, if she was still pregnant, after all she had fallen a long way, then she had been in close proximity to a nuclear detonation, there was no telling was kind of consequences that disaster would have on a pregnancy.

"You detonated a nuclear bomb?" Ben looked at her oddly. She nodded. "And that sent you back to 2007?"

"Yes, Ben, after the explosion I just woke up here," she replied.

"Where are the others? Jack, Kate, James ..." Locke asked.

"I have no idea, I thought you might have seen them?" she asked, her voice full of hope.

"No, we haven't," he said.

They settled into an uncomfortable silence for a couple of minutes, neither party knowing what to say next, it was finally Ben who decided to break it and ask, "So John, what are we going to do now."

Locke merely gave him a puzzled glance, "Come on John, you must have a plan, he said 'they' were coming. Do you know who 'they' are, John?"

"As a matter of fact Ben, yes, I do," Locke replied mysteriously.

"You do what? You have a plan? You know who they are? What is going on John?" Ben demanded, his voice full of concern.

Juliet observed the two men, clearly there had been a shift of power while she had been stuck in the seventies. Locke appeared to be sure of himself and definitely had the upper hand in the situation, while Ben was at a disadvantage, he knew nothing, and was being forced into the role of the follower. She could read his frustration on every single one of his features.

"You'll know soon enough, Benjamin," Locke answered enigmatically before turning to Juliet. "I guess you'll have to come with us Juliet."

"Come where?" she wondered if she would be any more successful in getting answer out of John Locke than Ben had been, she highly doubted it, but, at any rate, it was worth a try.

"The important question is not where, Juliet, but to do what?" he replied.

"I'm sorry, John, I don't understand," she said.

"There's a war coming, Juliet, we better get moving, and you're going to need this," he said as he pulled out a gun from his backpack and handed it to her.


	4. The things to come

**A/N: **I wanted to update this earlier, but I got distracted by my one-shot, and the celebrations following the end of my exams, but here is chapter 4.

If all goes well, the next chapter should follow shortly, I just have to update one of my other WIP, because I have been neglecting it, and people have been harassing me, but I have the broad outline for chapter 5 so it shouldn't take me too long.

As always thanks so much to everyone who reads this story, to those who have it on story alert and especially to those who take the time to review, I read them really carefully and take what you guys say into account.

I'm sorry it's a bit short, and I'm not satisfied with the end of the chapter.

---

He had been wandering up and down the beach, lost in thought for hours.

She should be there with him. It had only been hours since he had last seen, touched, smelt, felt her, but it seemed like years. He hadn't known it was possible to feel a bond this strong, this powerful with another human being, ironically enough, he now understood what she had said to him earlier -it would have been easier not to know her, rather than have to lose her.

But at the same time he was well aware of just how much she had changed him, and this change was for the better, he wondered if without her influence in his life the past three years, he would still be the same arrogant, selfish and detached conman he had been when he first arrived on this island, most probably.

As he gazed into the starlight sky, he wondered if it had really only been a couple of weeks since they had last admired the beauty of the night sky together …

***

"_What are you doing out here on your own?" her voice interrupted the still silence of the night._

"_Just looking at the stars ..." he let his voice trail off._

"_Never took you for the romantic star gazing type, James," she chuckled._

"_Ah, that'll teach you that you should never judge a book by its cover -or by his file, Blondie," he said softly as he grabbed her wrist and pulled her down onto his lap._

"_Do you see that over there, Juliet?" He asked pointed at a collection of unbelievably bright stars in the distance._

"_Uh-huh," she said intrigued. "What is it?"_

"_No idea," he replied. "But it's damn pretty."_

_She burst out laughing, "oh, James, you're certainly one of a kind."_

"_And is that a good thing or a bad thing?"_

"_Let's put it this way, I wouldn't want you any other way."_

_He buried his face in her hair and sighed, "I love you, Juliet."_

"_I love you too, James," she said simply._

***

When he snapped out of his reverie, he realised that he had walked right up to the tent where Jack was tending to Sayid, since he was here, he thought he might as well get an update on the Iraqi's wellbeing.

"How's Aladdin doing, Doc?" Sawyer asked.

Jack took his focus off of Sayid for a second and turned around to Sawyer, "Good. Unbelievably good, in fact, his wounds are practically healed. He's just a bit drowsy, he'll be back into shape in no time. It's a miracle."

"It's this place," Sawyer muttered. "Juliet said it speeded up the whole healing process thing."

He shrugged and turned away and headed off again into the night, but Jack quickly caught up with him, "Hey, listen, I just wanted to say that I am sorry about Juliet."

"I'm in no mood for pity, especially your pity," Sawyer said. "And if you think I'm going to forgive you and give you the absolution you're seeking, Doc, well you're mistaken."

"It's not pity, I truly am sorry. And about the guilt, that's something I'm going to have to carry with me my whole life. I just thought that … well, she was my friend too," Jack said with hesitation.

"Friend? Friend?" Sawyer repeated incredulously. "How dare you call yourself her friend, every time she put her trust in you, you failed her. You promised her you would get her off this damn island, and you left her behind. You left her behind even though you knew she had feelings for you, you just abandoned her. And then three years later, you appear out of nowhere, and you do it again, promising that if we detonate a nuclear bomb it would change the past. Well I have news for you, Dr Jekyll, it didn't work and it cost Juliet her life. I'm damn glad I ain't your friend."

He stormed off leaving a shocked Jack behind.

"He doesn't mean it you know," a voice came from behind. "He's just grieving."

"Of course he did mean it, and he's right, Kate, if it weren't for me, Juliet would still be alive. I failed, I'm responsible for her death."

"Jack, stop it, don't you even dare. Do you not think I feel guilty about everything? If I hadn't went back to Dharmaville, if I hadn't been put in that sub, Sawyer and Juliet would be back in the real world by now. Juliet was a big girl, she was a strong woman, she knew what she wanted and what she was doing when she commandeered that sub to come back to the island to stop you, she knew what she was doing when she decided to help you detonate the bomb. Don't do it, Jack, don't let the guilt eat you up. I need you."

She put her arms around his waist and held him tight as he rested his face in the crook of her neck.

---

Sawyer walked angrily across the beach, lifting up huge piles of sand with every one of his steps. He couldn't believe Jack would have the audacity to actually say something like that.

He then spotted all the others getting agitated around the camp fire, they were packing in great haste, Sawyer walked up to Jin and asked him what was going on.

"No idea," his friend replied. "One minute they were grouped around Richard and that woman Illana, and the next they were packing."

Sawyer marched over to Illana who was lost in a deep conversation with Richard.

"What'cha all doing? Is the sand on this beach not up to your usual standards, Anna Karenina?" he asked sarcastically.

"We're getting prepared," Illana replied flatly.

"Oh, yeah? Prepared for what?"

"The war," Richard said.

"What war? What the hell are you talking about?"

"You should come with us," Illana stated. "We leave at day break."

Later that night when everyone else was fast asleep, Sawyer, Jin, Miles, Sun, Hurley, Jack and Kate sat around the fire sharing theories about what Illana could have possibly meant when she was talking about a war.

Sun remained quiet for the better part of the conversation, listening to what everyone else had to say, when the conversation fell dead, she finally voiced her opinion, "Do you think t could have anything to do with John Locke?"

"Locke is dead, Sun," Jack pointed out.

"No exactly," Sun argued.

"I saw him in his coffin myself," Jack insisted.

"I saw him too," Sun defended herself. "But I also know that only a couple of hours before we found you, we were following a man across the island, and that man happened to look, sound, and act exactly like John Locke."

"And where is he now?" Hurley asked worried.

"I don't know," Sun confessed.*

"How convenient," Miles commented. "You sure you didn't just imagine him?"

Jin glared at Miles, warning him to watch the way he spoke to his wife.

"He disappeared with Ben," Sun revealed.

"Ben? He came here with you too?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah," Jack replied. "So he ended up with you, Sun?"

"Yes, and now he has disappeared with John Locke. Do you think he could have anything to do with the war the others are getting prepared for?"

"I don't know, but I'm gonna find out," Sawyer said.

"And how are you going to do that?" Kate wondered.

"They invited me along, and I'm going with them. Anyone care to join me?" Sawyer offered.

"With you every step of the way, boss," Miles said immediately.

Jin looked hesitantly at his former boss, Sawyer reassured him, "Jin, you don't have to come. You have only just reunited with Sun after three years, and you deserve to spend some time with her."

Jin nodded gratefully and squeezed Sun's hand.

"I'm coming," Jack volunteered.

"What about Sayid, who's going to take care of him?" Hurley asked.

"Sayid will be fine, he's practically healed, he just needs a bit of rest," Jack said. He then looked over towards Kate, theirs eyes locked, he wanted her to come with them.

"Count me in too," Kate said.

"Fabulous, it'll almost be like the good old times," Sawyer said sarcastically. "Well then people, we'd better get some rest, we've got ourselves a war ahead of us."

TBC.


	5. A conversation

**A/N: **Thanks everyone for all the reviews, they all make me smile.

I'm glad I didn't scare you off with the touch of Jate I put in my last chapter, because after all, Jate is fate, and I've shipped them since the pilot, therefore I might make a more or less subtle reference to their relationship in some chapters.

Also to those who are not fans of the whole "Juliet is pregnant"-sub plot, don't despair, we're at chapter 5 of this story and it's still the same day, and since I have no intention of making this a 200 chapters fic, I don't think we'll get to the part where she gives birth, if she does, and nothing happens to her before then, it's fiction, everything can happen.

Anyway, here is chapter 5 …. hope you like it

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The night had fallen all of a sudden so they had decided to make camp for the night, Juliet and Ben sat opposite to one another, while Locke had gone to fetch some wood for a fire.

Neither of them spoke a word, they were too busy sizing each other up, observing and analysing every single one of the other's movements.

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***

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_She heard the front door open and close again, before he called out, "Jules? You home?" _

"_Yes, I'm back here in the bedroom," she replied._

_He came straight into the room, where she was folding up the laundry, and he gave her a tender peck on the cheek before he started changing out of his Dharma jumpsuit._

"_You'll never guess who I met today," he began._

"_No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me," she said playfully._

"_Benjamin Linus," he said flatly._

_She kept on folding tee-shirts and jeans._

"_He's the kid who lives four houses down," James continued, eyeing her suspiciously. _

_When she failed to react, he burst out, "You knew, didn't you?"_

_She looked at him blankly and simply said, "Yes."_

"_Damn it, Juliet. Why didn't you tell me?" he asked as he slumped down on the bed._

"_What good would it have done?" she retorted. _

"_Well maybe it would have saved me from doing a back flip when I was first introduced to the kid."_

"_That must have looked odd, the big buff head of security terrified of a scrawny boy," she chuckled. _

"_Wise ass," he said as he swatted her with the towel he had just picked off the floor. "Do you realise how much pain and suffering we could prevent if we ..."_

"_He's just a boy," she cut in._

"_... got him off the island?" James finished. "I ain't no damn savage who enjoys killin' kids, Juliet."_

"_I know you're not," she said as she sat down next to him and stroke his forearm. "It's just that that thought actually crossed my mind. I thought, if he doesn't grow up, he'll never bring me here, and I would still be with my sister and her son."_

"_I know, Juliet," he put his arm around her._

"_But then I realised, that if he never brought me here, I would never have met you and I don't think I could live with the knowledge that I had deprived my future self of that."_

_He tightened his arm around her and said softly, "I love you. I wouldn't want to never have met you either, you made me a better person."_

"_I didn't make you a better person, James," she corrected him and smiled. "I only brought out into broad daylight what was already there."_

_.  
_

***

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"Where did you go?" Juliet broke the eerie silence.

"I'm sorry?" Ben looked at her, his big eyes filled with confusion.

"When we were flashing through time, what happened to you?"

"I was trying to get back here," he replied.

"Why?" she couldn't help but ask.

"Because, Juliet, this place is my home," he said.

"It wasn't always your home, I saw you get here on the sub," she stated.

"Well it's the only place where I've ever felt at home," he trailed off.

"I'm sorry, Ben," she sighed.

"Sorry for what, Juliet?"

"Sorry for how he treated you. You were just a boy, you deserved to be loved, not scolded," she said with empathy.

"He loved my mother, she died the day I was born, and took all his love with her," he said bitterly.

"He loved you too."

"He despised me."

"No he didn't," she replied, her voice filled with comfort. "You should have seen the state he was in when you were shot, he was frantic, running all over the place desperately trying to get his hands on medical supplied to help you. And then when you went missing, I thought the poor man might lose his mind."

"Well if he did ever feel anything but animosity towards, he never showed it."

"Did you ever see him again?" she asked.

Once again, Ben looked at her totally confused.

"After we sent you to the others so they could save you, did you ever see your father again after that?" she clarified.

"Yes, they sent me back to live with them, I only became one of them much later. You're the one who sent me there?" he looked at her mesmerised.

"Well it was either that, or you were going to die," she said flatly.

"You sent me away so I could live, even though you knew what I would do to you, what I would put you through?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"You were only a child."

"Nobody would have held it against you if I had died from that gun wound, things like that happen all the time," he said.

"I'm a doctor Ben, I don't let people die if I can prevent it," she replied.

He raised his eyebrows, clearly alluding to the tumour incident and the conspiracy she had set up with Jack.

"I was really desperate to get off the island then," she defended herself. "In 1977, you were just a boy, an innocent boy.

"You weren't desperate anymore to get off the island," he repeated her words with great curiosity.

"Where was I supposed to go in 1977, Ben?" she said sarcastically. "Everyone I knew, or would come to know was playing with dolls or toy cars in 1977."

They slipped back into an awkward silence for a couple of minutes. Juliet had a question on the tip of her tongue, but she just couldn't bring herself to ask it, finally, she couldn't wait any longer, "What's the matter with John?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, first of all, Jack told us he was dead, that he had seen him in his coffin, why don't we start with that?"

"Jack told you the truth. He was dead."

It was Juliet's turn to look at him utterly confused, "But ..."

"I have no idea, Juliet," he said. "You and I both know that this island works in mysterious ways."

"And you genuinely think that the island brought John Locke back from the land of the dead?" she looked at him with disbelief.

He responded with a icy stare.

"At any rate," she continued. "There's something just not right about him ..."

"... and you can't exactly put your finger on what out of place," he finished her thought. "I know exactly how you feel, but for now, I'd rather be his ally than his enemy."

They heard rustling through the bushes and all of a sudden Locke appeared in front of them, carrying a massive pile of fire wood. He quickly dumped his load on to the ground, "There we go, that should get us through the night!"

As they sat around the cracking fire, Locke handed Juliet half a mango, "Take this, you're going to need all the strength you can get."

Juliet nodded gratefully and took the piece of fruit out of his hand as she asked, "When are we meeting up with the others?"

"Others?" Locke questioned.

"Yes, you said Sun was with you, and I'm assuming that she isn't the only one," Juliet said.

"Was being the key word of that statement," Ben chipped in.

Juliet looked at both men with horror, "Is Sun dead?"

"No, she's still alive," Locke reassured her. "She's just not with us anymore, and to answer your first question, no, we're not meeting up with anyone else."

"But this war, you mentioned, it's not just the three of us against whatever dark and evil force you want to counter, is it?" she asked.

"As a matter of fact, Juliet, it is, just the three of us, you, Benjamin and I."

"You can't be serious?" she looked at him, hoping he was just joking.

"Actually, I think with each of our individual set of skills, we'll do just fine," Locke said, sure of himself.

"And what, may I ask, are we going to war against?"

"All in good time, my dear, all in good time," Locke replied mysteriously.

"All in good time?" she repeated incredulous. "What on earth is that supposed to mean? If I'm putting my life on the line, I have a right to know what it is!" she stated firmly.

"You'll find out soon enough, I said, no need to worry about it," Locke said sternly.

"What's with all the mysteries and unanswered questions, John? Why exactly should I follow you, if I don't know where you're leading me to?"

"Because, Juliet, you owe it to me," he said simply. "I told you I would save you from the time flashes, and I did. I told you I would come back for you, and technically, I did too. And finally, I gave you the shirt, not quite off my back, but almost."

His amused tone was seriously starting to irritate her. How could he be so joyous when she was so full of questions. How dare he dismiss her interrogations as if she was an impetuous child. How could he expect her not to worry when they were about to go to war?

She looked up and noticed that Ben was signalling her not too press the matter, she decided to follow his advice, the last thing she needed was for this John Locke to lash out on her.

Later that night she lay awake rehashing the days events over and over again in her mind, it had been a very long day.

She reflected on Ben's words about Locke, how there's was something not quite right about him, but he wasn't sure what it was exactly. It was something in his attitude, his way of being, or maybe the way he carried himself. It was almost as if he wasn't really John Locke, but rather someone trying to pass themselves off as John Locke, who doing a pretty decent job at it, but missing something that was essential to the person they were posing as. It was an odd sensation.

Once she was positive everyone around her was plunged in a deep slumber, she allowed her thoughts to drift to James, and the fact that not even a day ago, they had went to bed together and fallen asleep in each others' arms.

It had only been a few hours since she had last saw him, but it felt much longer. Her heart ached at the thought that she would probably never see him again. She didn't regret letting go of his hand, if she hadn't he would have went down with her, but she did regret having told him that she would have preferred never to have met him, to save her from the pain of losing him. After all, didn't someone famous once say, it's better to have loved and lost love than to never have loved at all?

She would never stop loving him, her relationship with James had been the only honest, equal and loving relationship she had ever been in her whole life, and it was certainly the healthiest, and she was glad she would at least have the memories to cherish in the future and to share with the child she was carrying, once it was old enough.

She wondered if he was well, she hoped he was. She wondered where or when her was. And she wrapped her own arms around her body, noticing how alone and unsafe she felt without him near to have her back.

She drifted off into an uncomfortable sleep, unaware that the man she loved so intensely, was closer than she could ever imagine, with the exact same thoughts going through his mind as he tried to get some rest.

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_TBC._

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**A/N:** So did you get the Ben/Juliet vibes?

At first it was totally unintentional, then when I realised I was writing it, I decided to play expand on it for a bit.

Because honestly, if 'The Incident' was the last episode in which we get to see Juliet alive, I will be pissed about half of my OTP being dead, but I will be even more pissed that we didn't get closure to the relationship or lack thereof between Ben and Juliet.

But, yeah, anyway, we all know that that crush was one sided.

Oh and last but not least, I was wondering (since I can't make up my mind for myself) would you rather I drag things along a bit before the "_Epic reunion_", or would you rather that bit came as soon as possible?


	6. Confrontation

**A/N: **I'm trying to update regularly, and so far, so good, I think.

At any rate, I'm doing a better job at updating this story than any of my other ones, and I'm kind of proud of that.

I really like this chapter, if I dare say so myself.

To tell you the truth I had it all planned out in my head and drafted on paper, but then I changed my mind about the ending of the chapter. At first I had something rather complicated in mind, then I realised that it was a bit too much of a cock and bull story, so I simplified it, and I think it's better this way, but you tell me.

As usual, a huge thank you to everyone who takes the time to review this story, I am a bit of a feedback whore, lol, and I may have replied to some of your reviews twice, because I forgot which ones I had replied to and which ones I hadn't.

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–

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Locke had woken them up as the first rays of sunlight had pierced through the leaves and they had set off into the jungle.

They had been walking for hours, it felt like their journey was endless, it was barely mid morning and she was already exhausted, the event of the last couple of days seemed to be finally taking their toll on her mind and body.

So far, she had come to the rather simple conclusion, that trekking across the jungle barefooted and wearing nothing but a shirt was not an idea that was going to win her a Nobel prize any time soon. But what could she do? For some unthinkable reason, she had woken up in the jungle in her birthday suit, she had improvised as best as she could. Fortunately, they seemed to be heading in the direction of Dharmaville -as James had taken to call it, and hopefully she be able to get her hands on something more suitable there, at least a pair of trousers.

She was so lost in thought that she tripped over a tree root, but Ben caught her just in time and saved her from falling flat on her face.

Locke was making her feel uneasy, so in a strange way she was actually quite glad that Ben was there with them. She was more than aware that the man was far from being trustworthy, but he appeared to be a little weary and uncertain around Locke as well, and she found this reassuring, also she would rather keep Ben as an ally than an enemy for the time being.

All of a sudden, Locke stopped, she looked around for any signs of imminent danger, they were in a clearing, the place was really stunning, in fact, six years on this damn island and she had never been here.

"Why are we stopping? We had a break not even a half hour ago," she asked.

"This isn't a break, Juliet. We have arrived," he said with great triumph in his voice.

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-..-

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"Son of a bitch," Sawyer exclaimed angrily.

They had only been marching through the jungle for a couple of hours, but he was already drenched in sweat from head to toe. He felt disgusting.

The last three years in Dharmaville had taught him to appreciate regular showers, and he had not seen the inside of a bathroom in the past two days, he was definitely not a fan of feeling grim anymore. What would Jules say, he chuckled, before reality came galloping back with the cruel truth and his heart sunk, she would never tease him again, he would never ever hear her comment sarcastically that he spent more time getting ready for his shift as head of security than a girl getting pampered up for her senior prom.

Would he ever be over her?

He doubted it, and the truth was, he wasn't sure he ever wanted to be over her, what they had, had been the real deal, and he never wanted to forget that.

"You all right, Boss?" Miles asked, concerned.

"Yeah, yeah," Sawyer brushed him off. He picked up his pace and joined Richard and company up front. "Just out of curiosity, Maybelline man, where exactly are we going?"

"We told you yesterday, we're going to war," Illana answered in Richard's place.

"I wasn't talking to you, Anna Espinosa," Sawyer snarled. "If it's not too much bother to you, against who are we going to war?"

"Darkness," Illana said mysteriously.

"What the hell kind of half baked answer is that?" Sawyer asked furious, as he stood in front of them, determined to stop them from going any further until he had obtained some decent answers.

"There are evil forces on this island, and they have declared open war against us, they must be eliminated," Richard explained calmly.

"What could they possibly have done to offend you? Destroyed your supply of eyeliner?"

"They killed our leader," Richard sighed heavily.

"Locke?" Sawyer asked confused.

"No, not him. Actually ..." Richard said.

"Let's move. We're almost there," Illana cut him off and started marching on, leaving Sawyer to walk on at the back of the group.

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-..-

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Locke had instructed them to hide in the bushes, so they could surprise their enemy when he, she, they or it -Juliet wasn't sure, passed by.

She had been crouched down in the most uncomfortable position ever for the past half hour. She had cramps in her calves and desperately needed to stretch her legs.

But she had been instructed not to move an inch, at all costs, the success of their mission depended on it. Locke had finally admitted that they were going to be slightly outnumbered, and therefore needed to take full advantage of the element of surprise.

She just couldn't stop wishing that they would get here already.

Just at the moment when she thought she was about to go crazy, she heard a group march through the jungle, breaking twigs and shuffling leaves on their passage.

She waited for Locke's signal, and as soon he gave them the all clear, all three of them stood up simultaneously from their respective hiding spots and advanced threateningly towards the enemy while pointing their guns at them.

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-..-

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His jaw dropped, he couldn't believe his eyes.

There she was, alive, well, and standing in front of him in nothing but a man's shirt. If it weren't for the group of people wielding guns at each other around them, he would have thought he was fantasising.

True she was pointing a gun towards them, but that didn't matter, she was alive, and just a few feet from him. He pushed through between Richard and Illana who were standing in front of them, and said in an almost inaudible whisper, "You're here."

He didn't care where they were, who they were with and why they were here, he wanted to do one thing and one thing only: rush up to her, take her into his arms, whisper into her ear all the things he had not had time to say, and just never let go.

But their eyes locked, and with just one glance she warned him not to come any closer, he was confused, but she looked more than sure of herself, so he stayed put.

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-..-

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She hadn't expected that her opponents in this war would include Richard, the others -people she had spent three years of her life with, an Eastern European woman and a rather buff man. She was about to turn to Locke to manifest her confusion, when there was a movement in the group standing in front of her.

Richard and the woman next to him where pushed apart, it was then she saw him -James.

He was here, she could hardly believe her eyes, she had been so sure that she would never see him again, and here he was. He looked dreadful, dishevelled and exhausted. She knew she was partly to blame for that, she had seen the look in his eyes when she had let go of his hand not even a day ago, it had been the look of a man witnessing the destruction of his entire universe.

She saw him begin to make his way closer to her, his eyes where filled with need, as if he needed her to survive as much as he needed oxygen, her heart swelled in her chest. She wanted nothing more than for him to close the distance between him and let him take her into the sanctity of his arms, drown in his scent, and forget the rest of the world for a minute or forever.

Her euphoria didn't last very long, she quickly reminded herself that Ben was standing armed only a few paces away from her, and that he was armed. A picture of Goodwin flashed across her mind and she knew what she had to do.

She couldn't endanger James' life, she couldn't risk losing him that way, she would never recover, she had to get him to stay away from her, with one glance she told him, she begged him not to come a single inch closer -and he didn't.

.

-..-

.

He knew why she was doing it. She was afraid.

She had told him all about her ex husband, his coincidental encounter with a bus. She had told him about Goodwin and his tragic fate.

She was afraid Ben would try and kill him too.

James had seen Ben at action enough times to know that she had reason to be worried, the man was a total psychopath, he had stood by and watched as his only daughter was being murdered.

But he didn't care, he would battle Old Nick himself if he ever stood in the way between him and Juliet.

"Let her go," he ordered Ben.

"She here out of her own free will, James," Locke stated.

"What are you talking about, Mr Clean? Aren't you supposed to be serving as worm food as we speak?" Sawyer challenged.

"I guess not, James, since I'm standing here right in front of you," Locke responded in his ever aggravatingly annoying placid tone. "As for Juliet, as far as I know and you can see, we are not holding here at gunpoint, she's with us because she wants to be."

Sawyer was about to voice out his anger when Richard's calm voice interrupted the silence, "Juliet has nothing to do with this, don't force her into it."

Richard moved forward to stand next to Sawyer.

"Richard, you of all people should know better than to ally yourself with those people," Locke exclaimed.

"You murdered Jacob," Richard pointed out with horror.

"You should be glad after everything he put you through, everything he did to you," Locke explained.

"What on earth are you talking about, John, if you really are indeed John?" Richard asked.

"He's the one who brought you here, the one who made you this way, what greater punishment on Earth is there than to make a man ageless, and let him sit by and watch as everyone he ever knew be born and then die," Locke said.

Richard stared at him utterly speechless.

"Many people would think that eternal youth is a gift from the God's, Richard, but only you know the truth, what's the point when you're the only one who doesn't grow old, and the loneliness that comes with it," Locke continued.

Just then a familiar and frightening sound came ripping through the jungle -the monster.

It was coming and it was coming fast.

Everyone stayed still for a second, it was as if the world had went still, it was the sort of stillness that precedes a movement of panic.

James thanked God for giving him the perfect opportunity, he sprinted the last few feet that separated him from Juliet, seized her wrist, pulled her forward and ran into the depths of the jungle -far away from the smoke monster, and far away from Ben.

He did not care where anyone else went, if everyone else was safe, he just ran, and she followed him.

They ran like they had never run before, for their life, for their love, for their future.

.

…

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TBC


	7. Don't leave me

**A/N:** I'm sorry, I didn't mean to leave such a large gap between the last chapter and this one, especially since I promised a speedy update, but I had a few family problems, and I moved to the UK for a month to attend Cambridge's Law summer program, which is more hard core than I expected (since I did not anticipate having any homework).

So I've just been rather busy.

And I apologise in advance for the fluffiness of this chapter (it's definitely not by best work, and actually, I think it might be out of character), I just couldn't help myself. I used to hate fluff, like really despise reading and/or writing it, but with this pairing, it makes me feel all mushy inside, lol.

Thanks again to everyone who takes the time to review, and especially **GencoOliveOil**.

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When her grabbed a hold of her hand and started running into the depth of the jungle, he did not turn around once to see if their friends were following them, truth was, he wasn't sure he really cared that much, all he wanted to do was to make sure Juliet was safe, the rest didn't matter –he had lost her once, he certainly did not want to lose her again.

So they ran, they ran until well after they stopped hearing the characteristic noises made by the smoke monster as it raged through the jungle, they ran until they could run no more, James not letting go of her hand, he didn't want to leave her behind.

Finally, she cried out, "James, stop."

And he did.

They stood there out of breath and dripping with sweat, but before she had had time to catch her breath he had pulled her into his arms, holding her so tightly she thought she might faint from the lack of oxygen. But she didn't complain, the truth was that this was the first time she had felt safe in days, and she'd rather suffocate in his arms than be without him.

He buried his nose into her hair, inhaling her scent, it was as if she was his strength and without her by his side, he did not feel complete, when he had thought he had lost her, it had been like losing an essential part of his being. He was aware that he was hurting her, or that she was at least uncomfortable, but he just couldn't bring himself to loosen his grip.

"James," she whispered into his ear, her arms were now locked around his neck, and her fingers running through his hair.

"Juliet. Juliet. Juliet," he repeated over and over again. "I thought I had lost you forever."

"I thought I had lost you too."

"God, I missed you so much," he nuzzled his head in the crook of her neck.

"I missed you too."

"Don't you dare ever try and leave me again," he said in a shaky voice, as he released her slightly.

"I promise," she replied, as she pulled him closer to her again.

"You promised before."

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***

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_She came home that night with a splitting headache. She had been stuck under a car all day, desperately trying to figure out why the damn thing just wouldn't start._

_She threw the door open and unzipped the top of her jumpsuit, she stared around her, the place was an absolute pigsty. Dirty dishes were pilled up in the sink, books were scattered on the counter, the floor needed swept._

"_James," she said exasperatedly. "You were supposed to clean up."_

_When she didn't get an answer or even a grumble, she went into the living room, and there he was, sprawled out on the couch, steaming drunk._

_Had she been in a good mood, she may have tolerated it, but as it was she was tired and grumpy._

"_James," she shook his shoulder. "You were supposed to tidy the house."_

"_Hpmf," he growled as he stirred from his drunker slumber._

"_James!" she snapped._

_His eyes shot open as he said angrily, "What?!"_

"_You were supposed to clean this place up," she repeated herself._

"_Yeah, well, I didn't."_

"_No kidding," she said sarcastically. "Why not?"_

"_I couldn't be bothered."_

"_That's not how it works, James. Sometimes I do the housework, and other times you do it. You had the day off, so it was your turn today," she explained, with a hint of condescendence in her tone._

"_Oh, just leave me alone," he said._

"_Easy for you to say, I've just worked a full shift and now I've got to clean up this dump and make dinner," she retorted._

"_Stop being such a nag," he said furiously._

"_If you did your fair share, I wouldn't have to nag you," she replied annoyed._

"_Stop ordering me around!" he raised his voice. "You're not my wife damn it!"_

_She shot him an icy glare, "Fine. Then you can make your own dinner."_

_She stormed off angrily into the bedroom._

_She woke up later that night, surprised to find that James had not come to bed yet, it was well after three in the morning, where on earth was he. She went into the living room to find it empty except for a dozen empty beer bottles decorating her coffee table. She noticed the front door was ajar so she went out; there he was, sitting on a bench just across from their house. All the anger she had accumulated towards him vanished as she walked up to him, his head was hung low, he looked totally crushed._

"_James," she said softly as she rubbed his back with her hand. "Come to bed, it's late."_

_He stayed quiet for a while, before saying, "I could have stopped him."_

"_Stopped who?" Juliet asked._

"_I could have saved her," he said, his voice cracking a little._

"_Saved who?"_

"_My mother."_

_Juliet's heart sank into her chest, that's why he was drinking so heavily._

"_It was today. It was today that he killed her and then shot himself. Today."_

"_James," she said soothingly. "I am so sorry."_

_She ran her hand through his hair as he rested his face against her stomach, "I'm so sorry."_

_She held him close to her for a couple of minutes before he pulled back, and looked into her eyes and asked, "Will you promise me something, Juliet?"_

"_What is it?"_

"_Never leave me," he pleaded._

"_Of course. Where could I possibly leave to?"_

"_Promise me. Promise me, you'll never leave, I won't survive if you leave me, Juliet."_

"_I'll never leave you, I promise."_

_.  
_

***

.

"I'm so sorry, James," she said. "I never wanted to hurt you. I'm so sorry I put you through that."

"There's something you need to know, Juliet," he began. "I love you. I love you like I've never loved a woman –hell another person, before. And I love you like I will never love again. This thing between you and me, it's the real deal, and I'm in it for the long haul. Kate, she's my past, and not even a very long part of it at any rate, I don't know why I looked at her, I didn't even realise I had until you pointed it out to me, maybe I realised that what you and I have, I could never have had it with her. You and I, we're meant to be together, I'm sure of it. You're my present, Juliet and my future."

"I should never have doubted you, I'm sorry," she said. "When I woke up after the flash, and realised you weren't there with me, I felt empty, I never want to be without you again."

He leaned down and kissed her slowly and lovingly at first, but soon enough the tenderness turned into passion, and pretty soon he had backed her up against the nearest tree.

She gladly gave in to the intensity of their embrace as his hands started roaming over her body, through her hair, down her back to her waist, her hips, her thighs … Then all of a sudden, he stopped.

"What's the matter?" she asked confused.

"You're not wearing anything under the shirt," he pointed out, equally confused.

"When I woke up in the jungle, I was naked," she confessed, blushing slightly.

"Oh, really," he said seductively as he slid his hand beneath the thin fabric of the unique item of clothing she was wearing. "It's a shame I missed that."

He started kissing her again, but yet again he stopped abruptly, "Where d'you get the shirt then?"

"It's John Locke's," she replied simply. "He gave it to me, when I ran into him."

James raised his eyebrows, "Wait a minute, Locke saw you naked?"

"It's not as if I had any choice in the matter," she defended herself. "Either I could ask John for some clothes, or I could keep roaming around the island dressed like Eve."

"What about bug eyes?" he asked predatorily. "If he saw you naked, I might just have to kill him."

"Thanks to John's shirt he didn't," she reassured him.

"Yeah, but it's not as if that shirt leaves much to a guy's imagination, did he try anything on you?"

"No," she shook her head slightly from left to right.

"And you thought it would be a good idea to go trekking off into the jungle, half naked, shoeless, to a war, with Pinky and the Brain?" he asked incredulous. "You do realise that that's insane, right?"

"I couldn't actually give them the slip, and besides, where could I have gone? I didn't feel like marching through the jungle on my own in the middle of the night. I didn't feel safe without you, and John Locke and his knife throwing skills were the next best thing."

"You don't have anything to worry about anymore, Blondie. I got your back," he said and she rested her cheek against his chest, they stood like this in total silence and harmony for a little while, both content in the sanctity of each other's arms.

"James," she murmured.

"Hmmm."

"I need to tell you something," her heart was racing in her chest, she had never felt so nervous in her life, right now, the memory of obtaining her board certification to practice medicine seemed less stressful than what she was about to reveal to him.

"I should have told you before, but I … I," she stuttered.

James was concerned; Juliet was not usually one to trip over her words, "What is it?"

"James …" she said. "I'm pregnant."

He suddenly let go of her, his eyes huge out of shock, questions came tumbling out of his mouth all at the same time, "Are you sure? How long have you known? Why didn't you tell me?"

"A week, give or take a couple of days," she said. "I didn't know how to tell you, I didn't know how to approach the subject, and then Jack and co came back, and then things just spiralled out of control."

She looked at him, trying to decipher his reaction, he appeared to be totally stunned, and she couldn't tell if he was happy or not. She could feel a knot forming in her stomach –what if he didn't want a baby, what if he hated her for it; they had never really seriously considered having children together. Sure, the thought had lingered in the back of her mind sometimes as she had folded his tee-shirts up, and had realised that she wouldn't mind doing the same for a third smaller person, but they had never really discussed it.

Just when she felt that she was about to lose all hope and dissolve into a puddle on the ground, he kissed and grinned, "I'm definitely not letting either of you out of my sight now."

Her face broke into a smile and she asked, "Are you really happy?"

"Hell, yeah, imagine how beautiful our daughter is going to be, she'll be a right heart breaker, with your looks and my charm …"

She raised an eyebrow and cocked her head to the side, "And just imagine how much of a terrible little troublemaker our son is going to be, with your mischievousness and my brain."

"So you think it's a boy, eh?"

"So you think it's a girl?"

He smiled at her again and hugged her.

"James," she interrupted the silence once again.

"What now? Are you going to tell me we're having twins?" he joked.

She rolled her eyes at him, "What are we going to do?"

"What are we going to do about what?" he asked.

"About the others, Locke, Ben, this war they keep going on about."

"First of all, you're doing nothing, you're not taking part in any war, and we need to find a way to get you off this island as soon as possible," he replied.

"But James …" she protested.

"There ain't any buts, Juliet. You're gonna have a baby, you're not doing any fighting, and anyway, even if you weren't I'm not letting you anywhere near psycho Ben and crazy Locke. I told you, I'm not going to risk losing you again."

"Well, what are we going to do?"

"We'll go back to the beach," he replied. "To see what Richard and the Russian chick have planned, the sooner we get this over with, the sooner I get to take you home."

She was starting to walk in the beach's direction, when he pulled his shirt off and wrapped it around her waist, "It doesn't beat the 1970s fashion, but it'll have to do for now."

.

.

TBC


	8. Homecoming

**A/N:** How's that for a speedy update, eh?

You better be impressed, lol.

I'm actually surprised myself (and sort of proud to be honest), since I wasn't really sure where I was going after the end of the last chapter. I've decided it's time to come clean and admit that I am making this up as I go along, hopefully I'll come up with an original yet believable way to finish the story.

Thanks again to everyone who is on board with me for this story, especially to those who take a little time out of their day to share their thoughts on the chapters with me; I am very grateful for every single review.

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The walk back to the beach was long and tiring, they walked almost continuously without stopping, in a comfortable silence. For time to time, James would turn around to face Juliet, just to make sure she was still with him and that she was fined, he would look at her with concern in his eyes, and she would simply smile back, she was fine.

Night was falling by the time they neared the camp, Juliet couldn't help herself from saying out loud, "I can't believe we're back here."

He glanced at her, and held out his hand for her to take, she did and they strolled on to the beach hand in hand. They could have almost been mistaken for a couple of lovers on a romantic evening walk, if the minute they had set a foot on the sand they had not been greeted by the barrel of a gun being pointed directly at them.

Fortunately for James and Juliet, the person holding them at gunpoint was Jin, and just as quick as he had picked up his rifle, he lowered it to the ground.

"James," he greeted his friend, and turning towards Juliet, he cast her a beaming smile and said, "I am pleased that you are okay."

"Thank you, Jin," she smiled back.

"Where's everyone else?" James asked, surprised by the tranquillity of the camp.

"Most of them are over by the fire, the rest are in the tent, Jack is injured," Jin revealed.

Before James had the chance to get any more information, Juliet had stormed off in direction of the tent, her pace was so rushed James had a difficult time keeping up with her, he finally managed to grab a hold of her wrist, and she turner around to face him.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Going to see if I can help," she said simply, before turning around once again and going into the tent, with James on her heels.

"What happened?" she asked Kate who was kneeling down beside Jack's unconscious form.

The younger woman looked up to her with tear filled eyes, "The smoke monster got a hold of him, and he was dragged on the ground for ages, then Bram, Miles and Frank were able to grab him just before the smoke monster pulled him down a hole. I don't know how they managed it, but they were able to hoist him up out of the monster's reach, and he's been out since then."

"Go get some rest, Kate," Juliet told her. "I'll see what I can do for him."

"But …" Kate protested.

"There's nothing you can do for him right now, it's better if you get some sleep so you can attend to him properly once he wakes up," Juliet reasoned.

Kate looked up towards James, seeking his advice on whether she should follow Juliet's advice, he simply nodded and the brunette slipped out of the tent.

"So, you want me to be your nurse?" he volunteered.

She couldn't stop a giggle from escaping her lips, "No, I'll be alright. I'm just going to examine him to make sure nothing serious is wrong with him and that he doesn't have a concussion."

"You sure?"

"Yes," she replied. She placed a loving hand on his torso and kissed his cheek, "You should go and get some food and try and find out about Richard's plans."

"Mmmh …" James half heartedly agreed, he wasn't really keen on letting her out of his sight just yet, but he knew that there really was no point in arguing with her, she'd just end up getting her way anyway, so he left, but not to go and see Richard or score a half decent meal, he had something else on his mind …

Back in the tent, Juliet was tending to Jack, she looked over Jack's wounds, just to check that his injuries were not worse than the others had evaluated them to be. They weren't, in fact, they were only benign scratches and bruises, he didn't even need any sutures, he would heal fine on his own.

Nevertheless, as the minutes and hours crept by, she was starting to get more and more concerned by his lack of consciousness, she prayed he didn't have a brain injury, because if he did, she wouldn't be able to do anything about it, even with the proper equipment she would have been helpless, so on a desert island, there would be no hope for him.

For the first time since he had reappeared in her life, she finally got the opportunity to properly look at the man who had promised her what she had desired the most, only to disappear on a helicopter in the arms of another woman.

She had been truly heartbroken over Jack and his betrayal, even though she had never let anyone in on the shattered state of her heart. After years of deception, and countless faulty relationships, she had allowed herself to give her trust to another man, she had been convinced that this time it would be different. After all, Jack Sheppard was a high class spinal surgeon, and a respected individual. By definition, he was a good guy, not a slime ball solely interested in her for her research, he wasn't some other woman's husband either, why would she ever doubt that things would work out between them?

Then along came Kate, she should have realised, well before she had that she had Jack's heart, and that there was no way she was going to be able to steal it from her. The realisation of Jack's true feelings for Kate had poured on her like an icy cold rain storm, and that day, on the beach, when she had sat on the sand watching her only hope of ever getting of this island and getting back to her family go up in flames had certainly been one of the most desperate and miserable times of her existence.

While she had been lost in thought, Jack had come to, he looked up at her, slightly confused and touched her forearm with his index finger, the human contact brought her back to reality, "You're awake, finally."

"Juliet," he said hoarsely.

"Drink this," she said as she held his head up and helped him sip some water.

"I'm so sorry, Juliet," he said.

"Ssshh," she soothed. "Don't talk, save your energy."

"I'm so sorry for everything," he repeated. "I should never have left you behind. I promised you I would get you off this place, and I left you all by yourself."

"What's done is done, Jack, there's no need to rehash the past, especially not right now," she said calmly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't love you the way you deserved to be loved," he said, half delirious, but this time Juliet didn't bother to stop him. "I wish I had, it's just that Kate, she got under my skin, I should have stayed with you, and everything would have been so much easier, less complicated."

He coughed, and she sat there with a look of shock written all over her face and she thought, "Why now? What's the point?"

Her train of thought was interrupted by his babbling, "Juliet, you and I … we're the same. We would have lasted in the real world, Kate and I … we were doomed from day one … I am so sorry."

Once again, he drifted off to sleep, someone clearing his throat snapped her out of her daze.

Neither Jack, nor Juliet had heard James slip into the tent, Jack had been too out of it, and Juliet too engrossed in what Jack had been saying.

James had not missed a single word of the doctor's ramblings, and it had made his blood turned. How dare Jack say something like that to her, after everything he had put her through? He wasn't sure what had been the worst hearing what Jack had said, or seeing Juliet so curious and interested by it all. He knew she wasn't interested in Jack that way, at least not anymore; nevertheless, he got a glimpse of how Juliet must have felt the other day when he had meaninglessly glanced at Kate, and he couldn't stop the rush of jealousy from filling his veins.

After all, he knew that in the 'real world', Juliet and Jack would be better suited than Juliet and him. Two doctors were a better match than a doctor and an ex-con, but Juliet had never given him a reason to doubt her, their love was true, he was sure of it, it had to be.

.

***

.

"_What about Jack?" he asked one day almost casually over the dinner table._

"_What about Jack?" she had replied._

"_We've never talked about him, we've talked about Kate, me and Kate, but never about the doc," he pointed out as he poured her another glass of Merlot._

"_Maybe it's because there's nothing to say," she had said with a hint of bitterness in her tone. "He loved Kate, he left, with her."_

"_Do you hate him for leaving you here?"_

"_No, mostly I'm angry at myself for giving all my trust to a man I hardly even knew."_

"_Do you miss him?" he asked curiously._

"_No, I've found someone much more worthy of my love," she answered, looking up at him with one of her intense stares._

.

***

.

Jack had fallen asleep again, so he cleared his throat, and Juliet looked up in his direction, a wide smile broke on her face, as she stood up and walked over to him.

"How's he doing?" James asked.

"He'll be fine," she said. "He did, once upon a time, survive appendicitis on this island, he'll get over this in no time."

"Brought you something," he smiled as he handed her a package.

She took the bundle out of his hands, and laughed, "Clothes."

"My girl needs to be up to date with fashion," he smiled. "How are you holding up?"

"Me? Just peachy," she said, winking at him, before adding, "A little tired, I guess."

"Come to bed, Juliet."

"And by bed, you mean your designated patch of sand, right?" she asked, her question filled to the rim with irony.

"Hey," he nudged her slightly with his elbow. "A man does his best with what he is given."

She glanced at Jack, and he saw her hesitation, "C'mon, Blondie, you need your rest too, besides, Hurley said he would keep an eye on the doc."

"All right, then," she agreed and followed him out of the tent.

Just as they were half way to their 'destination', they were suddenly stopped by Richard, "Juliet, I am glad you are all right. It's good to see you again."

"Thank you, Richard. It's good to see you too."

"Can you come with me for a minute?" he asked.

"What for?" she wondered out loud.

"I just need to speak with you," Richard replied.

"Can't it wait until the morning," James intervened.

"I'm afraid not, it's really important that we deal with this now," Richard apologised.

"What is it then?" Juliet asked.

"We need to talk in private," Richard stated.

"You can talk freely in front of James," Juliet said.

"I'm sorry," Richard apologised again. "Can you just come with me, it will only take a short while."

Juliet turned to James, "Go ahead, I won't be long, I'll be with you in a minute."

"I'll wait for you right here," James said stubbornly.

"Okay, then" Juliet sighed and said to Richard, "Let's make this quick."


	9. A turn of events

**A/N:** No I've not been abducted by aliens and replaced by a super sonic intergalactic version of myself, I'm actually updating for the third time this week, which has never ever happened before for any of my stories, in any fandom.

Anyway, I read quite a few of the James/Juliet fan fictions on and I was rather astonished to see so many authors apologising for the length of their chapters, so I'd really like to know if lengthy chapters are a big no no in Lost fan fiction.

I actually have a minimum of words per chapter that I try to stick to, because, personally, I really enjoy longer chapters.

So if you think I should limit myself a little more, please tell me.

As always, thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I really love it when people start theorising about what going to happen next, I'm not going to lie sometimes, what you come up with is much better than my original idea so I tweak my storyline to fit your (brilliant) ideas into it.

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* * *

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Richard led the way towards the camp fire, in a corner where the shadows of the trees concealed their presence. Juliet was surprised to see that someone was already waiting for them there –it was the Eastern European woman, whom she recognised from earlier that day.

"I don't think you've been formally introduced," Richard began. "Juliet, this is Illana, she was on the plane that brought Jack and the rest of them back to the island. Illana, this is Juliet, she's been on this island for the past couple of years, trying to solve our 'little problem'."

Illana looked at Richard knowingly and nodded her head in Juliet's direction as an acknowledgement of her presence. Juliet noticed how firmly her jaw was set, this woman was definitely not the kind you would want to get on the wrong side of.

"What was so important Richard that you couldn't speak about it in front of James?" Juliet asked.

"How did you end up with Ben?"

"They just happened to be the first people I ran into after the flash," Juliet said simply. "I woke up and literally just bumped into John Locke…"

Richard and Illana exchanged uncertain glances.

"That man, you were with Juliet," Richard began. "Was not John Locke."

Juliet looked at them both in total utter disbelief; she was just about to make that fact known to them, Richard added pointing at a large steel box opposite them, "John's body is in the crate over there, that's how we know it can't be him."

Suddenly everything made sense, it certainly explained that uneasy feeling of something being off with John Locke.

"But how …" she trailed off.

"We're not sure, Juliet," Richard explained. "All we know is that a long time ago, Jacob had a brother, who was insanely jealous of him, and who, by many times tried to kill him, but each time he failed, well at least up until this time."

"Let me get this right," Juliet said. "You think Jacob's evil brother has 'stolen' John Locke's appearance, and killed Jacob? Why would Ben go along with this? He's the most devout Jacob follower I've ever come across."

"Ben was never meant to be one of our leaders," Illana stated flatly.

An uneasy silence fell upon them, it was as if none of them sure of where to take the conversation from here, Illana was eventually the one to breach it, "Did they share any information with you?"

"What do you mean?" Juliet asked.

"About their plans, what they're going to do now?" Richard specified.

Juliet briefly explained exactly what had happened during her short time with 'John' and Ben, and revealed that she had no extra worthy information to share; she ended her narration with a question, "Is this war just about getting revenge for Jacob's murder?"

"No, that man pretending to be John Locke is highly dangerous, and if we don't neutralise him, he will achieve his goal and everyone on this island will be dead," Richard said. "So no, Juliet, this isn't just about revenge, it's about continuing Jacob's legacy of protecting this island and keeping its people out of harm's way."

"And how exactly do you plan on stopping him?" Juliet wondered out loud.

"That's why we wanted to talk to you," Richard said.

Juliet raised an eyebrow, "why do you need to talk to me to stop Locke –or whoever the hell he is?"

"We want you to go back," Illana stated firmly.

"Go back where?"

"To Benjamin Linus, we want you to lure them somewhere, where we'll be waiting to ambush them."

Juliet couldn't believe what she was hearing, she was completely bewildered. How could Richard even ask her something like that, he knew how much she had suffered, how much she had went through with Ben.

.

***

_._

"_Richard, please, can you talk to him," she begged._

"_I'm so sorry, Juliet, it's out of my hands," Richard had said apologetically._

"_But he'll listen to you, he trusts you," she pleaded. "You promised me I would be in home just in time to see my sister give birth. Now two years have gone by and I'm still stuck on this island."_

"_Juliet, there's no way out of it," Richard explained. "Until you have solved our pregnancy issue, you belong here."_

"_There's no solution to your problem, Richard," she said, her voice sad and her eyes on the verge of tears. "I can't help you, haven't you realised that yet, the mothers … they just keep dying, one after another, and I can't help them. I'm powerless, I don't even know where the problem could be, for all I know it could be this place, itself."_

_Richard looked at her with sorrow, he was truly sorry that she was in such a situation. When he had went to recruit her, he had felt terrible about lying to her, conning her into becoming a hostage, but what Ben wanted, Ben made sure he got, and he wanted Juliet. _

_One evening, before Richard and Ethan had taken the submarine to bring Juliet in, he and Ben had sat around a cup of coffee discussing the latest tragedy which had taken place on the island –Greta's death in childbirth. She wasn't the first, and if they didn't do something, she wouldn't be the last. Ben had asked Richard to get a detailed list of the most competent fertility specialists in the world off of Mikhail. They had been browsing through the doctors' files, each one more impressive than the previous, the minute Ben had seen Juliet's and her picture, he had stated plainly, "It's her."_

_At least, she hadn't just been Ben's choice, Jacob had also been more than happy to bring her to the island._

_There was no other way, Ethan and Richard had set off to Miami to convince a recently divorced Juliet Carlson Burke to come with them, they had been instructed to bring her in at all costs, even if that meant resorting to violence and kidnapping. _

_Thankfully it had never gone as far as that, well except for the Edmund Burke dilemma. True, she had been a bit wary at first, but eventually she had come round._

_Now, a little more than two years later, she was a broken woman, desperate to go home, a desire that Richard wished he could satisfy, but there was no avail, she had to stay, at least until one of the women gave birth to a healthy child, maybe after that he could convince Ben to let her go._

"_I'm so sorry, Juliet," he repeated as he put his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her._

_She felt her heart break into a thousand million pieces all over again as she watched him walk out of her house._

.

***

.

"No," she said, she was not going back to Ben.

"Juliet," Richard reasoned. "You're the only person Ben is likely to trust."

"Are you out of your mind?" she asked, trying to do her best to not raise her voice. "Have you forgotten the last time I was sent to 'infiltrate' the other side? Do you honestly think he will not remember the way I betrayed him?"

"I know you'll find a way to persuade him that your change of heart is genuine, I'm sure of it."

"He'll kill me," Juliet said, slightly stunned by the words tumbling out of Richard's mouth.

"No, he won't, Juliet," Richard said calmly. "He loves you, he would never do anything to harm you."

"What about James?" she said protectively. "Do you remember what he did to Goodwin? I don't want him to hurt James, or to even have a reason to hurt him."

"Please, Juliet," Richard prayed. "You need to do this, you are the only one who can save us."

"What do you mean?" Juliet asked.

"Juliet, you are special, a rare bread of human beings, you are selfless and caring. When I recruited you in Miami, it wasn't just because you were outstanding in you field of competence, there was something more to you, Jacob saw in you something that Ben never even suspected –great potential to lead a group in the right direction."

"I'm no leader, Richard, not now, and even less back when I was living in Miami," Juliet almost laughed at the ridiculousness of his statements.

"Jacob saw a bright future for you, Juliet. He knew that one day you would lead us all," Richard insisted.

"I wasn't even able to solve the problem women were having giving birth on this island, Richard. And after what I've been through theses last few days, I'm actually inclined to think that I'm responsible for all the mothers dying during their pregnancy. How the hell am I supposed to lead you?"

"With your instinct, you were born with it, it'll come naturally," he said mysteriously.

"I'm sorry, Richard. I can't lead you," she said simply.

"I will help you until you feel comfortable," Richard tried to convince her.

"I'm not interested, Richard," she said a little more firmly.

"Why not?"

"I need to get off this island. I can't stay here anymore, I need to leave, as soon as possible, as soon as I can, as soon as I find a way how to. I have been here far too long Richard, it's time for me to go home," she explained.

Richard remained silent for a few minutes before saying, "Very well, but in order for you to be able to leave this island, you have to help us defeat our enemy, that's your only shot at ever seeing your sister again, there's no other way."

They looked at each other for a long time, before Juliet turned on her heels and set off into the darkness of the night, far away from Richard and his more than ridiculous propositions.

As soon as she caught up with James, he immediately asked, "What did he want?"

"Information on Ben and 'Locke', or whoever he is, and what they're up to," she replied immediately.

"And why exactly could he not ask you that in front of me?" James questioned.

"No clue," she didn't feel up to elaborating on the rest of her conversation with Richard and Illana, she wasn't exactly sure why though, it's not as if James and her were in the habit of keeping secrets from one another, but she was exhausted and couldn't bring herself to tell him right away. "It's Richard, who knows why he does what he does, he's been on this island so long, maybe it's getting to his brain."

He left it at that, and they walked the rest of the way up the beach in a comfortable silence.

"Madame," James said as he gestured towards a neat little nest of blankets he had prepared for them.

"Not exactly the Ritz," she teased. "But I guess it will do. Be right back." She gave him a quick peck on the cheek as she grabbed the pile of clothes he had been carrying for her out of his arms and went to change.

Not even five minutes later she was back, "Perfect fit, James."

"I know my lady," James smiles, he was already lying down, she quickly joins him and settles down next to him. She feels his arm snake around her, and it feels like an eternity since the last time they had curled up together. His hand rests on her stomach and he kisses the crook of her neck, before whispering into her ear, "Good night, Juliet."

"He wants me to go back to Ben and lure them into a trap," she blurted out, she knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep if she didn't get it off her chest.

"What?!" he said bolting up.

"He wants me to go back to Ben and infiltrate their side, to lure them into a trap, to ambush them," she explained.

"Hell, no Blondie! You're not going! You ain't playing bait for the crazies!"

"James …"

"No, I won't allow it, I'm not letting you go," he said firmly.

"I don't need your permission to do anything, James," she stated, part of her angry that he thought he could have the last word in her actions; she had been with overbearing, controlling men before, she had even been married to one, it was an automatic reaction for her to rebel against it. She never wanted to relive that part of her life again.

"Yes, you do," he argued. "Of course you do, especially when you're carrying my baby."

"But this is the only way to save our baby, James. If I don't get off this island very soon, both this baby and I are going to die, don't you see that," she said softly.

"What does getting off this damn island have anything to do with anything?"

"Richard said that our only hope at leaving this place is making sure that Ben and Locke are defeated and won't harm anyone anymore," she explained.

"Fine, then I'll go," he said.

"Go where?"

"I'll do it, I'll get Ben and Locke to wherever it is I need to take them, so that Illana and co. can pounce on them," he said.

"No, you can't do it, I'm the one who knows him the best, I know how his mind works, and he trusts me."

"What if he hurts you?"

"He won't."

"How can you be so sure?"

"He 'loves' me," she shuddered.

"I can't lose you, Juliet. I won't make it, I can't be without you," he said, his voice full on anguish.

"Well this is our only shot, if I don't go, I will die here, like all the other women, I have to at least try and save myself and our child," she sighed as she ran her hand along her jaw line, and she kissed him softly.

They lay back down, James armed wrapped around her little more tightly than it had been moments earlier, "Juliet, I love you. Be sure that I will always have your back, I ain't going to let anything happen to you."

Juliet eased into the comfort of his body, as they both drifted off to sleep, entwined in each other's arms, for a moment they forgot they were on a beach and no longer in between the sheets of their bed in their little Dharma bungalow.

.

.

.

_TBC …_


	10. The Quest

**A/N: **I'm feeling rather productive today, haha. 2 chapters (okay, for two different stories, but still) in the same day =D.

So sorry for taking an absolutely appalling amount of time to update this story, the worst part being that it has been written for over three weeks, I just hadn't gotten around to typing it up, I had to go way back in my notebook to find it.

Thanks again to everyone who takes the time to review, it's totally appreciated.

Anyway, here it is, and 'oh my gosh!' we're going into the double digits, chapter number 10.

.

* * *

.

James stirred as the first rays of the early morning sunlight stroked his face. He groggily reached out and realised he was alone, his arms were empty, had it all been a dream? Had he not really found her? He sighed out of relief when he realised that they had just rolled apart during the night. He pulled her back into his arms and said against into her hair, "Morning sunshine."

The only response he got was a groan, the fact that she wasn't an early morning person amused him, the first time he had seen her, he would have pegged her for the uptight, up every morning at the crack of dawn type, three years down the road, he knew first impressions could be very wrong indeed.

He was so glad to have her back, if he hadn't known she was the love of his life before, he sure as hell she was the one now. And they were going to have a baby. And he was happy about it. He had certainly come a long way, if someone had told him three years ago that he'd settle down with a woman, and be expecting a visit by Mr Stork, he would have laughed in their face.

He hadn't been the settling down type, and he was certainly not a one woman kind of guy. As for fatherhood, he had been sure that it wasn't cut out for him, he wasn't fit to be a Dad. Everything was different now, and he was a different man, a better one, and that was thanks to her.

He was terrified by the prospect of her going off on her own to seek Ben and Locke, or whoever the hell he was in the jungle, all by herself.

Why did it always have to be her?

Hadn't she suffered enough already?

He didn't want her in danger, but most of all he didn't want her anywhere near that psychopath, Benjamin Linus, he knew what he had done to her, exactly what he had put her through ...

.

* * *

.

"_Do you miss'em?" he had asked casually, during one of their first lazy Sunday afternoons in Dharmaville._

"_Miss who?" she replied, barely lifting her eyes from her book._

"_Your people, the Others."_

"_They're were never really my people," she said._

"_You lived with them, here, in Dharmaville, hell, you must have plenty of memories that happened, right here, in this living room, in this house," he said, exasperated by her lack of reaction._

"_More than you could ever imagine, James," she laughed, before adding. "I used to, or rather, I will live in this house."_

"_No kiddin'," he said, surprised. "You never talk about what it was like, living with them."_

"_That's because there's nothing to say."_

"_Oh, c'mon, Jack kept raving on about how we could trust you, how you weren't like them, what exactly made you different, Juliet?"_

"_Why do you want to know?" she asked suspiciously._

"_You read my file, you know everything about me that's worth knowing, and everything that ain't, it's only fair if I get to know a little more about you," he replied as a matter of factly._

"_We're stuck in the seventies now, what does it matter who I was?" she set her book down on the coffee table and looked him straight in the eyes._

"_It matters. It matters that there is at least one person on this damn island who knows who you really are, and what made you who you are today It matters to me," he said, with an unfamiliar sincerity._

_She turned her eyes away from him and began, "I was working for the Research Department at Miami Central University. That's where they came to recruit me."_

"_Recruit you?"_

"_There was a problem on the island, the women couldn't have any children. It so happened that I was a fertility specialist, who one day had the bad fortune of successfully impregnating a male field mouse ..."_

"_You got a male mouse pregnant?" he asked astonished, she looked up at him, and he realised that talking about this was difficult for her, and if he wanted the full story, he'd better stop interrupting. He didn't know why he wanted to know so badly why she was the way she was, but he did._

_She went on. _

_She told him about them offering a job in Portland, about her uncertainty at first because her sister had just fallen pregnant and was recovering from cancer, about the fact that they had promised she'd only be away for six months, that she'd be back in plenty of time to be with her sister when she gave birth._

_She told him about her work on the island. No matter what she did, how hard she tried, she couldn't figure out what was wrong with the women on the island, why they couldn't carry to term, and why their pregnancies were killing them._

_She told him that the six months went by, she hadn't found the source of the problem. She had told Ben she couldn't do anymore for him, and that it was time for her to go home. He had refused. She had insisted, he sister was going to give birth. Ben told her about her sister's cancer coming back. He said that if she stayed with them, then Jacob would heal Rachel, but if she left, Rachel would die._

_At that point, James saw a single tear roll down her cheek, he wanted to reach out to her, touch her hand, but he didn't._

_She told him about Goodwin. He had been her salvation in all of this. He was married, and she knew what it was like to be the betrayed wife, but she hadn't been able to resist. She had been so lonely, and Goodwin had taken care of her._

_But Ben found out._

_And when Oceanic 815 crashed on the island, he had sent the poor man on a suicide mission with the survivors from the tail section of the plane. He had never come back. And Ben had taken Juliet to his body, when she had asked him why, he had said that she was his._

_James listened. Her story was a tragic one, she had been tortured by Benjamin Linus at least as much as they had been. She had been through hell and lost so much, no wonder she had been more than ready to hop on that submarine to get away from this island, even though it meant going back to a world where there was nothing or nobody waiting for her, a world which still had still three decades to go in the old millennium. _

_.  
_

* * *

.

When Juliet finally woke up, James was nowhere to be seen. She was just about to go looking for him when he came back, his arms full of mangoes.

"Breakfast for my girl," he said with a large grin on his lips.

She gladly took a mango out of his hand, he was starring at her intently, she knew what was about to come next, "Juliet, I'm still not keen on you going back to Ben and Locke."

"James, I ..."

"No, listen," he cut her off. "Why can't I just come with you? We can tell'em we decided to go with them rather than Mr Maybelline and Lara Croft over there."

"James, no," she said firmly.

"Why the hell not?" he said, angrily.

"I don't want you anywhere near Ben."

"Oh, so you don't want me around Ben, but I've got to be fine with you going to track down the lunatic?"

"It's different," she argued.

"How so?"

"He'll kill you," she replied.

"What about you? He'll kill you too!"

"He'll only destroy what comes between him and I, like Edmund, like Goodwin," she said.

"The man let his own daughter be shot right in front of his eyes? What's to say, he won't put a bullet in between yours?"

"If he had wanted to kill me," she answered. "He would have done it yesterday. Right now he's weak and insecure, he's looking for an ally. I'll be just fine."

"Juliet, I'm worried about you. I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you, I won't make it with out you," his voice broke.

She put her arms around him, "I'm not going anywhere, I promise you. I'll be back soon enough, and then we can get off this island for once and for all, and pretty soon I'll be nagging you about wearing muddy boots around our house again."

He smiled at her, and she leaned in and kissed him. He ran his hands through her hair.

"Ahem," someone interrupted, it was Richard. "I'm sorry to intrude, but I was wondering whether you had thought about what we talked about last night?"

"Do you promise you will find a way to let me and James go home if I do?" she asked.

"Yes, Juliet. I swear, once all this is over, if you still want to leave this island, I will make sure you get home safely."

"I'll do it then," she squeezed James' hand to reassure him.

"All right, then, we saw them running off in the direction of the barracks yesterday, although, there probably not going there, they'll be heading for a cabin, which is a couple of miles closer to here," Richard said.

"I know exactly which cabin you're talking about," Juliet nodded her head, remembering Rose and Bernard's cabin.

"Well if you head in that direction, you're sure to find them, or they'll find you," Richard finished.

"Wait a minute," Sawyer interrupted. "If you know where they are, why don't we just all go and take them by surprise."

"If only it were that easy," Richard sighed. "The man Ben is with, the one pretending to be John Locke, that man isn't like everyone else. If we can only defeat him in one specific location on the island, the Temple. Juliet, you need to bring them there, we'll be waiting for you, the day after tomorrow."

Juliet looked at Richard, she couldn't even glance at Sawyer, she was afraid he might catch on to her anxiety, she was starting to worry if she could pull this off. She had to. Her life depended on it.

"You should leave as soon as possible, Juliet," Richard said.

"I just want to check on Jack first."

Richard nodded, "No problem."

.

* * *

.

_After Juliet had stormed off, Richard and Illana had stayed around the camp fire a little longer._

"_You think she'll do it?" the Eastern European woman had asked._

"_Help us get rid of him for once and for all? Most certainly, yes," Richard had replied._

"_How can you be so sure?"_

"_Because she has to if she wants to get off this island as much as she says she does."_

"_You're actually going to let her leave, once this is over? Just like that?" she had asked, her voice full of scepticism. _

"_It's not as if I really have a choice in the matter, I promised her I would."_

_Illana shrugged, "Promises are made to be broken."_

"_She wouldn't be much use if the only way to keep her here with us was to tie her up in the Temple, would she?" Richard almost lost his temper, Illana was getting on his nerves, she was so focused on now that she couldn't see the bigger picture._

"_I guess not," she sighed. "But you haven't forgotten what he said about her, have you Richard?"_

"_Of course not, how could I forget."_

"_Do you think she suspects anything?"_

"_I don't think so ..." Richard's voice trailed off. They stood in silence for a couple of minutes before he spoke again, "I'm worried about her, what we're sending her away to do, it's dangerous, if anything goes wrong, it's practically a death sentence."_

"_There's no other way, Richard. If there was we would have found it by now," she said as she stood up to leave. "She'll be fine, she has to be, if she fails, the rest of us are doomed."_

_.  
_

* * *

.

Juliet entered the tent where Jack was being kept, she rested her hand on his forehead to check if he had a fever and his eyes shot open.

"Juliet," he smiled groggily.

"Well someone is feeling a lot better today," she returned the smile.

"Yeah, thanks, for taking care of me, you didn't have to," he said.

"Yeah, Jack, I kind of did. I'm a doctor, I can't let people just die, especially when I can try and do something about it," she said, clearly alluding to his refusal to help her after the twelve year old version of Benjamin Linus was shot.

"I'm so sorry, Juliet, for everything," he apologised.

She looked at him blankly.

"Sawyer doesn't know just how lucky he is to have you," he added.

"Yes, he does. And I'm very fortunate to have someone like him in my life," she said sharply. "Okay, then, you're healing up just fine, you'll be jumping around the jungle in no time, Jack."

And with that she left.

She started walking back to the patch of sand she shared with James to gather some things together and get ready to leave, she wasn't paying attention to where she was going, Jack's insinuations were infuriating, she didn't understand why he was going on about this. He had been the one who left, hadn't he?

She bumped into someone, "I am so sorry."

The person she had bumped into looked at her dumbfounded, "Sun?"

"Juliet, it's good to see you."

"Yeah, you too," she said awkwardly, remembering all too well the time she had revealed to Jin that his wife had been having an affair.

"Jin told me about how much you helped him … with his English, thank you."

"Oh, it was absolutely no problem at all."

"And thank you for saving my life, if you hadn't put me on that boat, I would never have had my daughter," Sun added.

"It was a girl? That's great," Juliet said, as she noticed Richard and Illana looking over at her, it was time to get a move on. "Really, great. I'll see you around later."

Sun nodded and went on her way.

Juliet got back to James and her pad, and looked around to see if anything was worth taking along with her.

"Here," James said holding out a backpack for her. "There's water, some food and a change of clothes."

She looked up at him and smiled tenderly, "Thank you."

He pulled her into a tight hug and kissed her passionately.

"I'll see you in two days time," she whispered.

"You better. Take care of yourself," he said, before resting his hand on her abdomen and adding. "Both of you."

"I love you, James," she said as he walked her to entry of the jungle.

"And I love ya' right back."

They kissed one last time before she set off into the darkness of the jungle.

.

.

TBC


	11. A Frazzled Linus

**A/N:** Don't choke on your own tongues.  
I am actually updating this. I did have to reread the last chapter, because I couldn't remember where I had left off, but there was a popular demand for me to actually get my arse into gear and _finish_ this story, so I felt compelled to oblige, it's short, but I'm rusty, at any rate, it's something.  
.

* * *

.

The jungle was cooler and damper than ever. Why on Earth had she accepted to go on this mission? It was suicide. How was she ever going to find Ben and Locke, or not Locke, whoever he was.

It was the only way to get off the island, and she wanted to get off the island, well she always had, but now it was a matter of life and death. If she didn't get out of here ASAP, she would be dead meat. How ironic, she mused. Getting killed by the problem she had been brought here to solve in the first place.

How typically perfect, she thought ironically. Just like the rest of her life as a matter of fact.

She had been walking for a couple of hours now, and the sun had started setting, the glimpses of the sky she could see through the trees above her had turned a pale shade of pink. This place would be a tourist resort's paradise, if it weren't for the odd polar bear, the smoke monster and the slightly insane immortal inhabitants.

She decided to rest for a while; she sat down on the nearest stone and pulled out the bottle of water James had made sure she take before she left. She loved the fact that she had someone to take care of her.

.

***

_._

"_Juliet, I'm leaving now," he yelled from the front door. "I'll see you in two days."_

"_Wait," she yelled back, her voice slightly muffled by the pillow she had hidden her head under. She quickly jumped out of bed and rushed to the front door._

"_You sure you haven't forgotten anything?" she asked him._

_He looked at her, grinned cheekily and moved in for a kiss._

"_I wasn't being coy, James," she said as she moved out of his reach. "I meant it literally, do you have everything you need?"_

"_Yes, ma'am," he said in his best obedient schoolboy imitation._

_She narrowed her gaze towards him, then looked over to the kitchen counter, and back at him, "Really?"_

_She went to retrieve the object that had caught her attention, "You forgot the sunscreen."_

"_Jesus, Juliet, I'm not seven years old. I don't need no sunscreen," he sighed._

_She cocked her head to the side as she waved the bottle in front of his face, "Oh, really? Remember last time? When you came home with the worst sunburn ever? You couldn't even sit down, and you spent a whole week bitching about how much it hurt? And I had to rub aloe into your back every single night?" She noticed that his gaze was softening at the memory. "Well I won't be rubbing anything anywhere this time, so take the cream with you."_

_He rolled his eyes dramatically at her, grabbed the bottle and stuffed it into his bag._

"_La Fleur!" a voice called from outside. "Get your ass out here, we gotta leave!"_

_He leaned in and kissed her fondly on the cheek, "Miss you."_

"_Me too, don't have too much fun without me," she joked._

"_I'm going on a security mission to Hydra Island with Miles and Phil, I just don't know how I'm going to avoid all the fun that'll be going on …" he said sarcastically as he walked out._

.

***

.

She was just about to get up and start walking again, when she heard something rustling through the bushes. What the hell was it? She turned around, trying to locate where the noise had come from.

"Juliet," Ben hissed as he appeared out of nowhere. "Why? What are you doing here?"

"You were right," she said flatly.

"But, Juliet," he interrupted. "Why would you come back? Don't you realise, the man, the man who's pretending to be John, he's insane!"

His big creepy bug-like eyes were darting all over the place, he was frantic, he was panicked, things must be bad if they got the evil mastermind, Benjamin Linus, into a state.

"Why would you come back …" he whined. "You got away, why would you come back … You have to leave again, quick, before he sees you, he cannot see you."

He tried to push her away.

"Ben," John Locke's voice called out from afar. "Who are you talking to, Ben?"

He emerged from in between trees and looked peculiarly at Juliet before saying, "Juliet, I knew you'd be back."

She heard the sound of Ben dry swallowing, clearly he was terrified of this man, this made her incredibly uneasy. "You were right," she finally managed to say. "Jacob is the one keeping us here, he's the one who brought me here, he's the one who won't let me go home. I want to see him destroyed."

He eyed her up and down suspiciously, "How am I supposed to know that you're telling the truth? That you're not on some kind of spy mission for the other side?"

He paused, "After all, it wouldn't be the first time that you infiltrated the opposition as a double agent, would it? It's getting to be one of your specialities, isn't it, Ben?"

Ben nodded quickly and returned to 'John Locke's' side, like an obedient puppy, scared to death of his master's wrath.

"You don't," she said simply. "You can only trust me. I have been on this island for six years now, and I have wanted to leave desperately for the better part of five and a half of them. You can believe me when I say that I want nothing more than to get off this island, and that I'll do anything to achieve that goal."

"What about Ford?" 'John Locke' snarled.

"I'll convince him to come with me when the time is right. He'll follow me, I can assure you of that."

He stared at her for an almost unbearably long time, she was almost convinced that all hell was about to break lose and that she was minutes away from being beaten to death when he finally said, "Very well. You should come with us then."

"Come with you where? Where are we going?" she asked.

"Where we should have went in the first place," he said mysteriously. "The temple."

The temple?!?

For a second she was relieved, this made her job so much easier, but if they left for the temple immediately, and even if they stopped and set camp for the night somewhere soon, they would still get there way before Richard and the rest of his gang. And we're they planning on a surprise attack?

How was she going to stall them? She had to find a way to slow them down. She just had to.

.

.

She had only been gone a day, but it felt like forever to him. He didn't know what to do with himself.

"Hey, don't worry, dude," Hurley tried to cheer him up. "She's a tough woman, she'll be fine."

"I know that, Hugo," he sighed. "But that don't stop me from worrying about her."

Hurley half smiled at him, knowingly.

"She's pregnant," he said after a while.

"Duuuuuuuude!" Hurley exclaimed as he pat James, a bit violently, on the back. "That's awesome!"

"Yeah," he laughed. "It is, isn't it? Don't tell anyone though, I don't think she wants anyone to know yet."

"Your secret is safe with me, Dude," Hurley crossed his heart with his fingers, James chuckled, knowing Hurley, everyone would know by sun down.

Oh, well, he thought, Juliet will be pissed, but they're bound to find out sooner or later, anyway.

.

---

.

He was eating a mango when Jack hobbled out of his tent in his direction.

"Feeling all better, doc?" he enquired.

"What is it you usually say?" Jack smiled. "Just peachy."

Sawyer coughed a laugh, "Yeah, that's it. So Juliet did a pretty decent job patching you up then, if you're already walking about?"

"She sure did," he sighed. "I'm planning on being ready for whatever it is Richard and Illana have planned at the Temple."

"You sure, you're up to that, doc?" Juliet's good heart must be rubbing off a little too much on him if he was even feeling worried about the Jackass' wellbeing.

"I will be. I want to make sure nothing happens to Juliet," Jack stated.

"I can take care of that," James said predatorily.

"Of course," Jack conceded. "But I owe it to her."

He grabbed a mango and headed back towards his tent, "You're a lucky man, Sawyer, to have a woman like that in your life, who loves you so unconditionally."

"Don't I know," he said. Had he heard a hint of bitterness and jealousy in Jack's tone? Well maybe he had finally realised just how much he had lost when he had picked Kate over Juliet. Served him right.

.

--

.

He woke up with a startle in the middle of the night. Richard's hand was on his shoulder.

"If you're coming with us, Jim," he said. "We're leaving now."

"Now?" he asked as he sat up. "Didn't we tell Jules that we would meet her in two days time?"

"Yes, but we have to leave now so that we have time to prepare for their arrival, to ambush them, and on the off chance that Juliet might be slightly ahead of schedule we don't want to cut it too close," Richard replied. "You don't have to come with us if you don't …"

"Just give me a sec to put a shirt on and I'll be there," he interrupted Richard.

He pulled the nearest tee-shirt over his head and tucked his gun into the top of his trousers and joined up with the little army, Jack and everyone else, which was waiting to leave at the edge of the jungle.

"Let's get this party started," he said under his breath as he followed Illana's lead into the depths of the jungle.

.

.

_TBC_

.

Oh, and **MERRY CHRISTMAS**, everybody, hope you have a great one!!!


	12. Big Bug Eyes

He lay awake, gazing upwards at the stars through the branches of the trees above him. The only sound interrupting the eerie silence of the night was the sound of the fire cracking. He sighed heavily, he couldn't sleep. It would be dawn soon, and he knew there was no point in trying to fall asleep anymore.

He turned on his side and took in his surroundings, and the people sleeping around him.

He knew why he couldn't sleep, he knew what was really bothering him to the extent of sending his mind into hyper drive: why had she come back?

It just didn't add up, it made no sense to him at all. Of course, the reasoning she had put forward appeared to be totally valid –she had finally realised that the bad guy in this whole odyssey was not Ben, but Jacob himself. He was the one responsible for bringing her to the island and keeping her there against her will. Therefore, it was more than logical that she would want to lend a hand in overthrowing him. If only she knew, he sighed.

He was more than inclined to believe her, he always was and he always had been. There was just something about her that felt so genuine and true, so trustworthy.

.

* * *

.

_Benjamin Linus had learned you shouldn't be too hasty in trusting people the hard way._

_At the age of five, he had let another boy from the neighbourhood play with his favourite toy train. The boy had taken the toy home with him and categorically refused to give it back. When Ben had demanded it be returned the next day, the boy had started weeping and ran back to his mother claiming that little Ben Linus was bullying him._

_No sooner had she heard this, the mother turned up on the Linus's front step to have a word with Roger. That evening Benjamin had got his first serious beating._

_Nine year old Benjamin Linus was head over heels in love with Laura Brown, the prettiest girl in his class. Over lunch one day, he had confided his feelings to the boy he thought was his best friend. Within an hour of his confession, the whole school knew about his crush, and everyone was laughing at him._

"_What on Earth made you think that you would ever have a chance with a girl like me?" Laura had snarled to his face in front of everyone._

_Ben had looked at the ground, embarrassed, desperately trying not to burst into tears, but they were stinging his eyes, and he couldn't fight them back._

_His heart had been broken, but he wasn't quite sure what had hurt the most, Laura's rejection, or his friend's betrayal._

_By the time Benjamin set foot on the island at the age of eleven, he had resorted to not rely on anyone. He had decided that the risk was not worth the disappointment. People were just not worth his trust, and he was not up to the deception anymore._

_One day he was late for school. He had spilled his juice at breakfast and his father had yelled at him and slapped him across the face like he had committed the worst crime in the history of crimes, so by the time he eventually got out of the house he had to run for it or Olivia would scold him._

_In his haste, he tripped and fell face forward just in front of the motor pool. He quickly picked himself up and was just about to swipe the blood trickle from the cut in his knee when a tall blonde woman called out to him, "Hey kiddo, why don't you come over here and I'll clean that cut up for you. You don't want it to get infected out here, do you?"_

_Her voice was calm, kind and soothing. There elements that were absent from Ben's life and that he craved. So he followed her advice and sat down in front of her, while she pulled out the first aid kit and put antiseptic on the wound._

_She smiled at him, her blue eyes sparkled with genuine goodness, her long blond hair was tied back behind a bandana and she had a little mark of motor oil on her left cheek, but she was beautiful, more beautiful than Laura._

"_I'm Juliet," she said. "What's your name?"_

"_Ben. Benjamin Linus."_

_He was so fascinated by her that he didn't even notice her flinch._

.

* * *  
.

He was well aware that she could be lying. He knew just how deceitful she could be, he had trained her, hadn't he?

Didn't she love Ford?

Of course she did, he had seen the way she had looked at him when he had appeared out of nowhere, with Richard's crew in the middle of the jungle the other day. And then they had run off together hand in hand. No, there was no doubt there, they loved each other. As much as he hated it, as much as the idea made his skin crawl, there was no denying it.

.

* * *  
.

_From the moment Juliet had cleaned up his knee, Ben's life changed drastically. He didn't have to go through life with his head hanging low, eyes fixed on the ground, he had something to look forward to –seeing her._

_Luckily for him, the motor pool was on his way to school, so he could catch a glimpse of her in the morning and in the afternoon. Those stolen moments were the highlight of his day, sometimes she would see him pass, and he would wave shyly, and more often that not she would respond with a half smile. On those days, Ben felt lighter and happier than he had ever been before._

_One day, he was walking home from school when he noticed she was talking with that big guy from security. The one with the shaggy hair and the southern accent who had yelled at him for being in his way once, who hung out with the two Asian guys on the security team, Ben didn't like him, he thought he was rough and mean._

_So when he saw that that man –LaFleur was his name, had his hand on the small of Juliet's back, and that he was whispering softly into her ear, and that Juliet was laughing at whatever he was saying, Ben's nostrils flared. She looked so happy, how could a man like that possibly know how to make someone as special as her happy. How could she even be interested by someone like Jim LaFleur?_

_Didn't he realise that he was out of her league? _

_Ben's eyes darkened as he observed the happy couple. After a couple of minutes, Juliet spotted him and nudged LaFleur._

"_What d'ya want, kid?" LaFleur had asked him harshly._

_Ben had quickly turned away, but not fast enough to not see Juliet pushing LaFleur playfully, "Leave him alone James, he's just a kid."_

_He was scared of LaFleur, not as scared as he was of his own father, but he didn't want to get on the man's wrong side, so he decided to be more careful. He started watching Juliet from a distance, hidden behind bushes._

_He watched her change tires, replace fan belts, repair engines, but soon that wasn't enough, and he took his new favourite pass time a step further. He started watching her when she was at home alone, doing laundry, dishes, reading books. She loved reading, so he read the same books she did, at the same time, it made him feel closer to her, as if he was part of her life._

_One day he got hurt, it was pretty serious, so serious he couldn't remember what happened exactly, but as he drifted in an out of consciousness in the infirmary, he knew that she was there, and that she was taking care of him, and that somehow everything would turn out just fine._

_He had woken up in the hostile's camp, and they had eventually sent him back to the Dharma Initiative and by that time she was gone, as were most of the women and children. Over time, some of them came back to be reunited with the husbands and friends they had left behind, but not her._

_She was gone, he would never see her again._

.

* * *  
.

Really, his life had been somewhat ironic.

As a boy, he had seen Juliet and James as a couple, and as a man, he had witnessed their first meeting. He could have prevented them from ever being together. It wouldn't have been that difficult, he could have killed Ford, or have had him killed –Pickett had been dying to take him out.

But he hadn't.

Instead he had attempted to keep them away from one another. He had assigned her to Jack, and kept her interactions with Austin and Ford limited. Surprisingly enough, Juliet had not even seemed interested by Ford at all, she had a thing for Jack, whom Ben willingly admitted seemed to be more her type.

At the end of the day, everything he had done to bring her to the island and keep her there had just contributed to bring them together.

.

* * *  
.

_Richard knocked on his door, late one evening, "Ben, we need to talk."_

_Ben had let him in, they had sat down at the kitchen table._

"_Margaret died today. She's the third pregnant woman to die. There hasn't been a new birth on the island in years, Ben. We need to do something," Richard had said, worried._

"_And what do you suggest I do, Richard. I'm not a doctor, nor a magician. What does Jacob say about this?"_

"_He doesn't know. He doesn't understand what's happening," Richard sighed._

"_Well then, what am I supposed to do about it?" Ben enquired._

_Richard stayed silent, before suggesting, "I think we should bring someone, who can help us, to the island."_

"_An outsider? Are you out of your mind?" Ben said, careful not to raise his voice too much to not wake up Alex, who was sleeping in the next room. "Jacob would never allow it!"_

"_I've spoken with Jacob, he agrees with me."_

"_And does he have a candidate in mind?" Ben asked pointedly._

"_He says you've to pick."_

_._

_--_

_._

_Ben ordered Mikhail to bring him detailed files on the best fertility experts in the United States. _

_Mikhail had quickly put files together and had everything carried to Ben's house no more than a week later. _

_._

_--_

_._

_Richard and Ben were going over all the files, the maybes and the 'no ways'. They had been at it for four hours straight, and they were finally nearing the bottom of the pile._

_Richard took the last binder and opened it._

"_Interesting," he commented under his breath._

"_What is it?" Ben asked, peering over at the papers Richard was holding._

_He couldn't believe what he was seeing. It couldn't be. It was impossible. He snatched the folder from Richard's hands._

_It was impossible, but judging by the picture stapled to the top of the page, it was real. Juliet Carlson Burke, fertility specialist in Miami. Twenty five years and she hadn't aged a day, if anything she looked a little younger._

"_Is something wrong, Ben?"_

_Ben looked up at Richard. He didn't think that Richard had ever had to deal with Juliet personally in the seventies, for sure he had dealt with LaFleur, but probably not Juliet. _

"_No," he sighed. "She just reminds me of someone. Shall we call it a night, Richard? I look over the maybe files once more tonight, and we can talk more tomorrow?"_

_._

_--_

_._

_As soon as Richard had stepped out of the door, he had opened Juliet's file again. Scanning the words, looking for any mention of 'LaFleur', there wasn't any. But she was married, or rather had been, to some man called Edmund Burke, perhaps Jim LaFleur had changed his name?_

_He turned the page over, and there he found a picture of Edmund Burke, nope, definitely not LaFleur. _

_If he had been confused before reading her file from front to cover, he was even more puzzled afterwards. Born in 1973? Graduated from High School in 1989 at the age of 16? Graduated from Med School in 1997? Impregnated a male field mouse in 2000? _

_None of this added up. She had been in her thirties in 1977, how could she possibly graduated from High School at the age of 16 in 1989?_

_He had to bring her to the island, to see if it was really her or not. He just had to._

_._

_--_

_._

_He had sent Ethan and Richard to Miami to bring her to the island, and they had._

_He had waited on the dock for her to emerge from the submarine, and when she finally had he looked at her closely. _

_Her hair was curly, she was definitely younger, less sure of herself, but there was no doubt about it, it was her._

_He was happy, maybe they had a chance after all._

.

* * *

.

He heard her turn in her sleep. Now he knew she would never be his. It hurt, but he had come to accept that he was only destined for misery, his mother dying right after he was born, his father hating him, Alex being shot right in front of him, Jacob not caring for him at all, Annie.

But that didn't stop him from being worried for her. It was not safe with Locke or whoever he was, it just wasn't, and he hoped she knew what she was doing because if she didn't, then they were both screwed.

This new version of Locke terrified him. He had pushed him into killing Jacob.

The way he looked at him was also intimidating, as if he could see right through him, see his soul, as if he knew exactly what Ben was capable of and what he wasn't.

It made Ben nervous, uneasy.

The other day he had barely resisted the urge to cry out, "Just kill me already! Get this torture over with. You and I both know you will kill me eventually anyway."

This whole situation was just a disaster waiting to happen.

.

--

.

"Ben!" Locke's voice woke him up, he must have dozed off. "Ben, it's time to go, get up!"

He sat up promptly. Juliet was already up, tying her hair back, ready for the day.

"It shouldn't take us too long to get to the temple. A couple of hours at most," Locke announced.

And so the trek continued, Locke leading the way, Juliet following and Ben behind her.

The dices had been rolled, the game was on, only truth would tell who had been right, and who had been wrong.

.

.

TBC

.  
.

**A/N:** Yeah, I kind of like Ben.

Oh, and I took some liberties with Juliet's birthday, most people usually assume that she was born in 1970, like Elizabeth Mitchell, but I chose to make it 1973, because honestly Juliet is never 7 years older than Ethan. Just no. In season 1, Ethan looks like he's over 40 and not in his late 20s, so voilà.  
But I'm also assuming that in the US it's possible to graduate from High School at 16, if it's not, well then 'oops', and then I hope the whole undergraduate/med school works out properly, 4 years as an undergrad, then 4 in Med School (at least that's what Wikipedia told me), then that gives her 3 years to impregnate the mouse.

Anyway, _**HAPPY NEW YEAR**_ guys!!!  
I hope you get the opportunity to bring the bells in with style. I know my NYE is going to be wild, I hope yours is just as fun.  
See you on the other side of 2010!!


	13. The Temple of Doom

**A/N: **Long time, no see ..

I'm so sorry for dropping this story again, I sat ten 3hour exams this semester, anything in my life that didn't involve studying had to take the back seat. I'm annoyed though, I wanted this done and over with before the season première.

There's not much of this story left to go, maybe four chapters, so just hang in there with me. Also this is more of a transition chapter than anything, nothing interesting really happens, it's my "I don't remember what happened in my fic so I'm easing myself slowly back into it" chapter (seriously, I couldn't remember if I had killed Sayid or not).

.

–

.

They were almost at the Temple when a shiver ran down Richard's spine. He stopped dead in his tracks and looked around. Something was different, colder, darker.

He looked up into the sky through the leaves of the trees above, the sky might have been blue, but Richard could feel the shadow of a dark presence lingering above them. Everyone else seemed oblivious to it though … that could only mean one thing.

Richard's breath shortened. No, no, no, no. It was not supposed to happen this way. It couldn't be. This Damocles sword he felt hanging over his head at this very instant had only one possible explanation: they were too late. _He_ must already be in the Temple. But how was this possible? What had happened? Juliet was not supposed to get them there until tomorrow. This was all wrong, in the worst of all possible ways, a complete and utter disaster.

What were they going to do? What was he going to do?

The element of surprise, that was their only leverage, the only advantage they could hope to have over _him_. As long as Jacob had been around they had been protected, both forces balanced out: good and evil were equal, but now? Now there was only evil, only darkness. And Richard felt empty. He had loathed Jacob for so long, respected him, but hated him so much for making him this way, keeping him here, giving him no other choice, right now he would give anything to have him back. Not so much for himself but for all the other people on the island, he had lived a long life, longer than long enough, but all these people they did not deserve this.

"You feel it too?" Illana questioned him.

He nodded worriedly.

"Do you suppose it means that ..." Illana trailed off.

"Yeah, I'm more than certain that it means that no matter what we're going to attempt to do, we'll lose," Richard sighed defeated.

"Nonsense," Illana shushed him. "We still have her, we still have hope."

Richard looked away.

"You saw the list, as long as she lives."

"We don't even know for sure what that list means, Illana, And even if it did mean something, what is she going to be able to do against him, she doesn't even know what all this is about in the first place," Richard snapped.

"When did you lose your faith, Richard?"

He glared at her, "If you had been through a fraction of what I have been through on this island, you would be less inclined to believe the scriptures of a piece of paper."

"You'll see. Jacob did nothing without reason, she will come through for us," Illana said hopefully.

"Everything is just not how it was supposed to be," he said softly.

"What's the matter, Manscara? Lost your Kohl pencil?" James had walked back to find out why they had stopped.

"Nothing," Richard said calmly, he wanted to keep his anxieties to himself. Juliet was with _him_, at the temple. He had seen the state James had been in when he thought Juliet was dead. The last thing Richard needed right now was James Ford getting enraged about him putting his girlfriend in danger.

"I just needed a break, I'm good now, let's catch up with the others," Richard said just before storming off.

.

–

.

"So, I've been wondering," James caught up with Richard who had taken the lead of the march. "Why d'you really recruit her? Was it because you knew her from the 70s?"

"Wha-, I don't even know who you're talking about?"

"Of course you do, guyliner, Juliet. You met her in Dharma-times, that why you brought her here in 2001?"

"I never met Juliet in the 1970s, James," Richard stated firmly.

"Yes, you did, Chief. You 'walked in' on us in the jungle one day, in an almost compromising situation. I had snuck us out of Dharma territories for a little picnic en tête à tête, and we were halfway through a bottle of Merlot when you came bustling out of the bushes," James elaborated. "If you had got there even ten minutes later, there would have been no way you could have ever forgotten."

Richard chuckled for the first time that day, "Oh, yes, I remember now. No, that's not why I went to get her in Miami, but that does explain why she did seem familiar."

"So why did you recruit her?"

"Ben picked her out of a list of fertility specialists, and Jacob was more than eager about his choice."

"Ben, eh?"

"Does it surprise you?"

"Nah, he was kind of obsessed by her as a kid. Every once and a while I'd catch him following her with his eyes in Dharmaville. I didn't like it. She told me, he was just a kid," James admitted.

"He had more than a little thing for her on this side of the millennium," Richard revealed. "And his interest in her intrigued me."

"Why's that?" James wondered.

"At the time, I had known Ben for over twenty years, since his boyhood, and he had never seemed to be interested in interacting with other people, much less a woman. He was always very closed off in that sense, emotionally immature, I think it had something to do with everything he went through with his father. But the minute he saw her picture, there was no talking him out of it, he had to, needed to get her on the island. He never confided in me, Ben isn't one to share his passions, but he was anxious for weeks before Ethan and I set off for Miami, everything had to be perfect for her arrival -the right flowers in the vases, the right book and CD collections. He thought the whole thing out in great detail," Richard paused.

"And then she got here, and he would almost follow her around like a lost puppy. She was absolutely oblivious to the whole thing, she was just here to do her work and get home to her sister. And then there was Goodwin, and that … well that was just unfortunate."

Richard cleared his throat. He wasn't used to being this candid, he was the quiet observer type, but he owed nothing to Ben, it felt oddly liberating to just talk, and he had had more than enough secrets to last him for the next 150 years, so he continued, "... and then when you fell out of the sky on the day that plane crashed. Well, let's say it all makes sense now."

"Whaddaya meant? What makes sense?" James asked.

"Why Ben hated you so much, why you were the one he tortured."

James looked at him, puzzled, not sure he understood what Richard was getting at.

"He knew you from before, when he was a child, as Jim LaFleur, he didn't want you ending up with Juliet, so he kept both of you far away from one another."

"Huh? What?" James asked confused.

"Yes, well in part, let's say it was just extra incentive. I mean, don't you think our little 'let's get Kate to talk Jack into operating on Ben' -plan would have been one hundred percent more efficient if we had kept you in the dolphin tank far away from them, and just let out the word of how much physical torture we were inflicting you with?" Richard said, cocking his head to the side.

"I even heard Tom suggesting it to Ben. He said, "Let's stick Ford in their with Jules, and pretend we're torturing him, they'll be stuck outside, they'll know no better, and not knowing is the worst fear ever". He thought the doc would never be able to handle the guilt of someone he knew being tortured when he could prevent it, and with the added Kate pressure ..."

James pondered for a moment, it did sort of make sense, in a twisted way.

"Ben just discarded that idea, said that Shepherd had to be put with Juliet, because she somehow looks a little bit like his ex-wife. Although that backfired on him a little too when Juliet developed a little crush on Jack."

James ignored the Jack comment, "But, Juliet tased me in the jungle, so ..."

"Well we hadn't exactly anticipated you and Karl's great escape, had we? And Juliet just happened to be in the right place at the right time."

"Yeah, but then I saw her when we were building the runaway," James stated.

"Word had got back to Juliet about how Pickett was treating you, so she went to have a word with him, telling him to cool it, that they needed you alive. Ben never knew about it until later," he paused. "It's ironic though … After everything he did to keep you apart, in the end he did bring you together. Just another demonstration of the 'what happened, happened' theory, I guess."

They stopped talking, and James walked behind Richard in silence. The talk about Ben Linus and his unlimited devotion for Juliet had made him a little uneasy. He didn't like to think of her stuck wherever she was at this very moment with a completely insane murderer version of Locke and her creepy psychotic stalker Ben. He just wanted her by his side again, close enough so he could protect her.

.

--

.

Great.

He had a pebble in his shoe. Fantastic.

It was damn annoying but he didn't want to waste time to get the pebble out, the sooner they got to the temple, the better. He was dying to see what the hell this Temple they were rambling on about looked like. In his mind, temple reminded him of the Indiana Jones movies, but he highly doubted it looked anything like that. In fact, he was sort of convinced that it must be some sort of underground galleries, inhabited by a bunch of mole people.

It couldn't be a big open air structure. He had lived on this island for three years, worked security for the D.I. for the better part of that time. He had gridded all of the land Dharma claimed to be theirs and most of the hostile territory, if there had been a fat ass temple out here somewhere in the jungle, he would have known it.

He looked back at the rest of the group of people who had decided to join Calamity Jane's 'Let's go an destroy this son of a bitch pretending to be Locke' army.

There was that douche bag, Bram, he had seen him trip that 'other' girl on purpose, just to amuse his two equally dumb friends. Dick.

Some other 'others' that he didn't know, and didn't really care to make the effort to know.

Miles and Jin, of course, his deputies, his buddies … He knew Jin wanted to go home at least as much as he did. After all, they both had a daughter off the island that they had never met. And obviously, Miles would come along with them. They were a team.

Sayid was somewhere in the back, brooding. Ever since Hurley had told him about Sayid losing Nadia, he had found a whole new compassion for the man. If he had lost Juliet forever, he would have went completely postal too. Thank god, his own tragedy had only been temporary.

And then there was Jack and Kate, no surprise there. Wherever Jack went, Kate did too and vice versa, they were like a broken record. Jack hadn't even fully recovered from his injuries and was painfully hobbling along, one arm draped over Kate.

He wasn't paying attention in front of him and all of a sudden he collided with Richard's back, who had stopped for no reason.

"Son of a bitch," James complained. "What the hell?"

"We're here," Richard simply said.

James looked up.

"Son. Of. A. Bitch," he said, he couldn't believe his eyes. This was a hell of a lot more like Indiana Jones than he had expected.

.

–

.

"We have to go in by underneath," Richard had explained. He watched everyone go down the hole, one by one, guilt rising up in his throat like bile. It was like watching sheep being taken to the slaughter house.

He went down last.

They walked through the galleries for a while, and then they came up to the surface again. _He_ was waiting in the courtyard of the temple.

_He_ stood there, majestically, as the entire universe belonged to _him_. _He_ looked down at Richard. He may have taken Locke's appearance, but there was no mistaking the evil streak in those eyes, "I've been waiting for you, Richard."

Richard dry swallowed, uncertain of what he should do next. Suddenly, Ben sprang out of nowhere and tackled _him_, taking _him_ to the ground.

.

.  
TBC

I use _him_ instead of Not!Locke (because that would look awkward) and Esau (because it hasn't been confirmed/denied by Darlton).


End file.
